Ladies Night Out
by BobR
Summary: In which Ryoko and a few friends go out for a night on the town or somewhere.
1. Poor Ryoko

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

*****

Ladies Night Out

Chapter 1

Poor Ryoko

*****

Note: This story takes place about 10 months after Jurai, Here We Come.

*****

DING.

The welcome bell at the temple gate rang while Urd was in the bath.  "Hey Keiichi, can you get that?  I'm in the bath."  

No answer.  

DING.  

The bell rang again.  "Bell?  Skuld?"  

Nothing.  

"Damn."  The platinum haired goddess got out of the tub, wrapped her wet hair in one towel and another that barely covered her assets went around her body.  "Whoever it is is gonna get an earful along with the eyeful," she muttered as she floated out into the courtyard in the direction of the gate.

DING.

"Yeah, yeah.  I'm coming."  Urd reached the gate and threw the latch. The portal swung open.  "Just what's so important that you had to interrupt my…"  A cyan haired, golden-eyed woman stood there grinning at her.

"Hello Urd," Ryoko said.  "Mind if I come in?"

The goddess blinked rapidly several times.  "Uh, sure.  But why didn't you just come through the wall, or fly over it?  The wards won't keep you out you know."

"I know," replied Ryoko, looking around.  "And if I'd known that you were the only one home I probably would've, but I didn't want to interrupt, you know, anything…  And besides, that little robot, what's his name kinda scares me."

Urd snorted.  "Banpei.  And what's there to interrupt?  Keiichi still hasn't made his move, even with all my urging."  Urd led the way back into the temple.  "So Ryoko, what brings you out this way anyway?  I thought you'd be home with Tenchi, Ayeka and the new baby."

Ryoko shrugged, "Yeah, well I suddenly found myself with a free evening.  Tenchi's off somewhere in the mountains training with Yosho and Ayeka's mothers showed up this morning out of the blue so she doesn't need any help with little Juro."

"Feel kinda like a fifth wheel huh?" said Urd wrapping an arm around Ryoko's shoulders in sympathy.

"Yep," the ex-pirate agreed with a smile.  "So I was wondering…  Wanna go out and have a few with a Princess of Jurai?"

"Sure, I don't have any other plans.  Let me change."  Urd suddenly spun around, offering Ryoko a spectacular view of a heavenly body if she'd been at all inclined to look, and was suddenly dressed in a very provocative leather outfit.

"Ready," the goddess announced.

Ryoko produced a low whistle.  "Not trying to give anyone a heart attack, are you?"

"Nope.  These are my everyday go to town clothes; why, is there something showing?"

"Not quite."

"So you wanna grab Mara to go with us?" asked the Norn.

"Nah, I don't feel like fighting tonight, just a little bar hopping.  I borrowed this from Washu."  Ryoko pulled out a small device and showed it to Urd.

The bronze goddess blinked at the thing a few times then asked, "What is it?"

Ryoko examined it closely.  "It's a randomizer," she pronounced.  "We punch the button and it randomly picks a bar somewhere."

"Cool!" exclaimed Urd.  "Uh, where somewhere?"

Ryoko shrugged noncommittally.  "I dunno, anywhere is fine.  When we get tired we just press the 'HOME' button and it brings us back to our starting point.  According to Washu anyway."

"She told you this?"

"Not really, but that's what the instructions say.  Shall we?"

"Ok, let's go."

Ryoko pushed the button and the two disappeared from the temple with a dull flash.

*****

They reappeared in an alley off of what seemed to be a main street in some small town.  Urd poked her head out into the thoroughfare and looked around.  There didn't seem to be anything dangerous but something didn't look quite right.  Ryoko stepped around her and out into the open.  She started across the street to a building with flashing neon lights.  Urd followed and stopped her halfway across the street.  There seemed to be no vehicle traffic, just pedestrians.

"Where you goin'?" the goddess asked.

Ryoko nodded toward the building.  "To the bar of course.  Where did you think?"

Urd looked up at the flashing lights.  "How do you know it's a bar?"

Ryoko pointed to a neon tube twisted in a strange shape.  "It says so right there.  Can't you read?  Seems to be a pretty high-class place too, a good place to start the evening."

Urd followed the pirate's pointing finger and peered up at the lights.  "Uh Ryoko, I hate to say this but that's not a language I'm familiar with.  And I know quite a few."

Ryoko punched Urd lightly on the shoulder and laughed.  "It's not a language silly, it's the galactic standard symbol for a drinking establishment."  She continued across the street to the door and went in.

_Galactic standard? _ wondered Urd.  _GALACTIC standard!  Oh no! _  She rushed after her friend.  "Hey, Ryoko!  Wait!  Where are we?!"  She caught up with the other woman just as she reached the bar. "Ryoko," she panted.  "We're not on Earth anymore, are we?"

Ryoko looked around the place, which had gone silent at the sound of her name.  Everyone's head turned to look at the two.  The ex-pirate swallowed hard.  "Um, nope, I don't think so.  In fact, looking at some of the patrons in here I would say definitely not.  Damn that Washu!"  She felt a tap on her shoulder.  Turning, she found herself face-to-face with what was obviously a cop or bounty hunter of some kind.

"Ryoko?" he asked in a low, menacing voice.  "That wouldn't be 'Space Pirate Ryoko' by any chance, would it?"

Ryoko smiled sweetly at him.  "Ex-Space Pirate Ryoko, yes.  That's me.  Why, want my autograph?"

"Heh, no.  Ex or not, there's still a bounty on your head and you don't look so tough."

Ryoko grinned.  "I don't have to be anymore.  In case you haven't heard I'm a princess of Jurai now."

"Sure you are," said the man reaching under his jacket.  "And I'm the Empress' long-lost brother.  Now you can come quietly or dead.  Either way's the same to me."

Urd stepped between them. "Wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE!  Did you just say Empress?"  She whirled on the cyan haired woman.  "Ryoko, not only are we not on Earth, we're not even in our own reality."

The man tried to push Urd aside.  "This doesn't involve you lady.  Don't get in my way or you're going to get hurt too."

The goddess turned back to him with narrowed eyes.  "What did you say?" she asked in a voice dripping with sweetness.

The bounty hunter pushed a little harder but Urd wouldn't move.  "I said don't come between me and my prey or I'll have to hurt you too," he growled.

Urd planted her feet and put her fists on her hips.  "That's what I thought you said.  Ryoko's a friend of mine and you'll have to go through me first."

"Urd…" said Ryoko trying to move the goddess out of the way herself so she could defend herself.  "I'll handle this."

Sparks began to crackle from the goddess' eyes.  The bartender ducked behind the bar shouting "No weapons, no weapons!"  All the patrons except one dived under the tables.

"Urd Lightning Strike!" the goddess commanded raising an arm over her head.  A bolt of electricity shot down from nowhere and blew a hole in the floor a couple of feet from the bounty hunter.  Although it didn't actually hit him, the energy discharge was enough to knock him off his feet.  On his way down he hit his head with a solid crack against the foot rail of the bar; he went out like a light.

The single person seated at a darkened table in the back started clapping slowly.  "Impressive, but you need to work on your aim a bit My Lady," said the figure as it stood and started toward them.

Urd gently kicked the fallen bounty hunter.  "I think I did ok.  Wanna try me yourself?"

"Oh no, I know better than to go up against a goddess, even a goddess second class."

"Then how about me?" asked Ryoko as she formed a plasma ball and squeezed, making her energy sword.

The figure paused for a moment.  "And have all Jurai after me for attacking a member of the Royal Family?  I don't think so.  Besides, your mother would never forgive me."

Ryoko's sword fizzled out.  "My mother?  How do you know Washu?"

The figure stepped into the light.  It was obviously a woman and a small buff-colored animal was perched on her shoulder.  She threw back her hood to reveal a tattooed face with light blue hair.

"Nagi!" exclaimed Ryoko.  "What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same 'princess'," said the hunter.  "That is before this fool stuck his nose in."  She poked at the other hunter with her foot eliciting a moan.  "He always was an idiot.  I hope he's not hurt too bad though, we've crossed paths a few times and traded information."

"Nah, he'll live," Urd said.  "His head's as hard as a rock."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Nagi chuckled.  "C'mon, let's go somewhere where we won't be bothered and you can tell me everything that's been happening to you, including how you managed to get here."

*****

They ended up in a small dive on the seedier end of the town.  Aside from a few looks in their direction and a few catcalls directed at Urd (from both male and female patrons) everyone seemed indifferent to the fact that a woman who looked like the most wanted space pirate in the galaxy had just walked in.  Nagi gestured to the bartender and he walked to a booth in the even more dimly lit back and tossed out the drunk who was passed out there.  A quick swipe with his damp cloth and he gestured for the three women to have a seat.  A moment later three beers had magically appeared on the table.

Nagi took a sip of her brew.  "So, you two decided to do a little bar hopping and you ended up her.  What'd you do, steal one of Washu's gizmos?"

Ryoko felt her face flush a bit and was glad it was dim in the booth so that Urd couldn't see.  "Not exactly," she replied, pulling out the device.  "See?  I asked Washu to make me something that would take me to random points on Earth.  The only criterion was that there be a place to get a drink nearby."

"Let me see that thing," said Urd as she held out her hand.  Ryoko handed it to her and the goddess turned it over to look at the back, squinting in the dim light.  "Damn, can't see anything here.  Hold on a moment."  A dull glow emanated from her hand as she read the markings on the back.  "Designed by Washu Technologies, Pat. Pend."  She looked a bit farther down.  "Lovingly assembled by…  Ah ha!"  She held it out so that the others could see.  "See this rune?" she asked, pointing to the symbol with a glowing finger.  "That's Skuld's mark.  Washu may have designed this but my sister built it."

"So?" wondered Ryoko taking a drink.

Urd took a swallow and grimaced.  Beer was ok but wasn't exactly her favorite beverage. It would do for now though.  "So, knowing Skuld she tweaked it a bit," the goddess explained

"Tweaked?" Ryoko choked on her beer.  Nagi began pounding her on the back.

Urd nodded.  "And she always builds with off-the-shelf components.  What was the last thing she worked on with Washu before this?" she asked.

Ryoko's face took on a strained look.  "The Reality Hopper," she said quietly.

"Mmm hmm," the goddess bobbed her head.  "And I'll bet she used parts from that to build this.  Either that or she substituted things trying to make it more efficient.  Yup, Sounds just like her."

"That means we can't get home.  Oh Tenchi!" the pirate moaned.

"I didn't say that.  That feature probably works as advertised and if all else fails I'll just call my Father to come get us."

"Your father?" asked Nagi.

"That's Father with a capital 'F'," said Ryoko.  "Her dad's the Almighty."  Nagi mouthed a silent 'Oh' and rolled her eyes indicating that she thought Ryoko was crazy.  She took a swallow of beer and banged her now empty cup down on the table.  A refill instantly appeared.

"Good service here," Ryoko observed.  She put her own empty cup down and a full one took its place.

"I like it," said the bounty hunter.  "They don't ask too many questions and the owner doesn't put up with any crap from the clientele.  In here, everyone's equal."

"And the beer's good," mumbled the pirate around the lip of her cup.

"And the beer's good," agreed Nagi.

"They got anything stronger, like sake?" asked Urd.  She took another sip of her drink and grimaced again.  "I'm not much of a beer drinker," she explained.

Nagi snapped her fingers and pointed at Urd.  The beer mug vanished and was replaced by a tall fluted glass.  "Not sake," the hunter said.  "But I think you'll like it."

The goddess took a tentative sip of the drink.  Her eyes widened and she downed the rest in one gulp.  "Ahh," she exclaimed, approval written all over her expression.  "That _is_ good.  How's about another?"  A full glass was soon in front of her and she finished it with one long swallow.  "Again," she called.

Nagi looked at the goddess in disbelief.  "Those drinks…  One of them is supposed to last all night.  Two of them'll knock out a Tybearnean."

"A who?" asked Urd as she finished her third one.

"A large, four armed humanoid known for their ability to metabolize alcohol rapidly," said Ryoko signaling for another round.  "Hey barkeep, gimme one of what she's having."  Two more of the tall drinks appeared on the table and a beer in front of Nagi.  This time the goddess sipped slower as Ryoko took her time over her drink.  

Nagi nursed her beer until the other two were done.  "If you're bar hopping do you mind if I tag along?  I'm free tonight and as long as you're sure we can all get home…"

Urd looked across the table at Ryoko who just shrugged.  "I guess.  But we plan on doing some serious drinking."

"Then you'll need someone to watch your backs.  You're not on Earth you know."

Urd chuckled, her cheeks just slightly pink from the alcohol.  "Sort of like a designated driver, right?  Well, let's get to it then.  There's a lot of booze out there with our names on it."

The three stood and started for the door.  As they passed the bar Nagi threw a handful of coins onto its surface.  "Keep the change," she said as she passed the bartender.  The coins disappeared and he nodded at them.

Ryoko looked back as they left.  "Ya know, I didn't see him move the whole time we were in there except for clearing the booth.  Strange."  She turned back to the other two and pulled out Washu's device.  "Ok, let's see where we end up next."

*****

To be continued

*****

Author's Notes

This was going to be just a single chapter but once I got started it kept getting longer.  And longer…  Anyway, it'll probably run three or four chapters long unless…

I know, I'm going to throw this one open.  If anyone else wants to write a bar scene for these three (there will be a fourth a little later) I'd be interested in seeing it or at least hearing about it.  It doesn't have to be very long and if it fits into the concept and the writer gives their permission, I'll put it in with full credit to the author.  If you're interested in doing this and want to know who the fourth is (before I actually use this person) then email me and I'll let you know the ground rules for this fic.  Otherwise I'll just continue plodding along on my own

*****

Review Responses

Sorry, as this is the first chapter there are no reviews yet.  If you want a reply to a review of one of my earlier stories email me and I'll be glad to oblige you.

*****

BobR


	2. Myth-ed Connections

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

*****

Ladies Night Out

Chapter 2

Myth-ed Connections

*****

With apologies to Robert Asprin for using his characters without permission (points finger at Wharpt.)  He made me dood it!

*****

"Now where is this?" wondered Urd looking around at all the different types of beings.  The three had materialized in a narrow alley between two rows of what appeared to be tents.  The bronze goddess had stuck her head out of the alley's mouth to get a look at the local layout.  What she saw didn't impress her.  Tents everywhere separated by the occasional mud brick building or wooden stall.  The streets were unpaved and the dust stirred up by the pedestrian traffic made her want to sneeze.

Ryoko poked her own head out for a quick survey.  "Got me," she said.  "And I don't see a bar anywhere near.  Don't tell me this stupid things broken…"  She banged Washu's device against a convenient pole a few times.

"Hey!" complained Nagi, stopping the pirate before she could actually damage the thing.  "That's our way home, be careful with it."  She took the device from Ryoko and tucked it into her cloak.  "I'll just take care of it from now on."

"Well, I'm not going out that way," said Urd suppressing a sneeze.  "Maybe the bar's at the other end."  She levitated and started toward the opposite end of the alley.  Ryoko floated after her and Nagi, who had no such powers, trudged along behind.

"Well, well, well!  What have we here?" came a rough voice from above them.  "Three good looking women who seem to be lost.  Wadda ya say boys, should we help them get unlost?"  A ragged chorus of agreement echoed from various places around them as eight or ten young ruffians stepped out into the open.  The leader of the group hopped down from atop the back of a nearby stall.  Nagi swept her cloak back to free her weapons for action as an orange plasma ball formed in Ryoko's hand.

"Boys," said Urd quietly.  "I really think you should back off, you don't know who you're dealing with here."

The leader shrugged.  "What's to know?  We have three good-looking women who look to be fairly well off, and eight of us.  Tell you what, pay us oh, say three gold pieces each, one for each of you, and we _might_ let you go peacefully."  He held out his hand.

"Heh, maybe if you apologize now, we'll let _you_ go peacefully," Ryoko grinned evilly at him.  She closed her fist and an orange blade formed from the plasma.  Nagi pulled out her own blade.

"Look out, Magick!" called one of the gang as the rest reached for whatever weapons were handy.

The leader chuckled as he pulled his own sword out.  It looked like it'd seen better days and sharper edges.  He flashed it before the three women.  "Behold!  This blade contains a charm that is proof against magickal weapons."

Ryoko flicked her wrist cutting the 'charmed' sword into two pieces.  The boy stared at the stump of metal left in his hand.  "Too bad I'm not using this 'magick' of yours.  Got anything else?"  The pirate yawned.  

The other seven young men had disappeared leaving only the leader.  He turned to flee only to run into the ample chest of a gorgeous green haired woman who had appeared behind him.  "Is there a problem here?" the woman asked looking at the hissing blade in Ryoko's hand.

"Nope," said the golden-eyed pirate as she opened her hand and the sword dissipated.  "We were just asking directions of this gentleman."  Ryoko saw the woman's companion for the first time.  Obviously female as well, this person was tall, thin, completely bald and covered with fine greenish scales.  "Are you the local law?" the pirate asked.

"Us?" responded the human looking woman as she gave the boy a kick in the rear to send him on his way.  "Hardly.  In fact quite the opposite."  She saw the orange glow reappear in Ryoko's palm.  "Oh no, no.  Don't worry.  Let's just say that the law around here is sometimes worse than the criminals."  The glow faded.

"Oh.  Well in that case, I'm Ryoko, this is Nagi," she indicated the bounty hunter.  "And Urd."  The goddess nodded her head in greeting; she was looking at the woman with a strange look on her bronze face.

"I'm Tananda but my friends call me Tanda.  My companion here is Pookie.  We were on our way to the office when we heard the commotion and decided to stop and check it out.  The company we work for does security work for some of the businesses around here."

"So, you're private security guards?" Nagi asked sheathing her sword.

Tanda shook her head.  "Nooo, I'm an assassin and Pookie's a bodyguard.   Strange huh?  You'd think we wouldn't get along given the diametrically opposed occupations."  Tanda wrapped her arm around Pookie's narrow shoulders.  "But we're friends anyway.  We both have the boss's best interests in mind."

Ryoko noticed Urd staring at Tanda's face.  "I'm goin' to _kill_ that little twerp when we get home," fumed Urd as lightning crackled around her fingers.

"Wha…?  Who ya going to kill and why?" wondered the pirate, her eyes moving back and forth between the goddess and the assassin.

"Skuld.  Don't you get it Ryoko?  Look at their eyes…  Not only are we not on Earth or in our own Reality, we're not even in our own Genre anymore."

Ryoko squinted at Tanda noticing her smaller eyes for the first time.  "Yeah, but her hair's the right color though.  Nice shade of green by the way."  Ryoko looked over at the Trollop's companion.  "But what's up with the lizard girl, Pookie, wasn't it?"

"Oh, she's from Perv so she's a Pervert," teased Tanda by way of an explanation.

Ryoko shrugged.  "Well, we all have our little quirks."

Pookie growled, showing an impressive array of sharp pointy teeth.  "That's PERV-ECT, thank you very much.  I, like most of my people am as straight as an arrow."

"Riiiight!" exclaimed the green haired assassin with a huge grin.  "Maybe _you_ are, but what about…"

"Ok, that's enough," said the scaled woman poking her companion in the ribs.  "So, what are demons like you guys doing in a back alley like this?" she asked Ryoko innocently.

It was Ryoko's turn to growl and show her fangs.  "Watch it lady," she said in a low tone.  "I haven't been called that in a while and I still don't like it."

Tanda grinned and held up her hands in mock alarm.  "Aw, struck a nerve, did she?  Anyway, around here demon is short for Dimensional Traveler.  We're all demons here in the Bazaar.  Except the Deveels of course.  This is their home dimension, Deva."

"Bazaar?" said Ryoko, looking around at the backs of all the booths.  "As in shopping?"

"Yeah; shopping, eating, drinking, gambling, you name it," said Tanda spreading her arms wide.  "It's all here."

Urd's eyes lit up when gambling was mentioned.  "Casinos?" she asked, rubbing her hands together.

Tanda and Pookie looked at each other.  "Sure," said the Pervect.  "And we know just the place, don't we?"  She nudged the buxom assassin with her elbow.

"Oh, sure!  Follow us."  The two locals started of through the crowd.  Ryoko looked back at Nagi who shrugged noncommittally.  The three off-worlders started after them, catching up quickly.

*****

"So, what kind of place is this?" asked Urd as she looked up at the edifice before them.

Tanda followed the goddess' gaze up the garishly painted side of the building. "Bar, casino, hotel, restaurant, nightclub, shopping mall.  It was the boss's idea.  Come on, let's go get a drink."

"Won't you guys get in trouble?" Ryoko wondered.  "After all, you were on your way to work…"

Pookie waved off the pirate's concern with a simple gesture.  "Nah, we're executives we are.  'Course _everyone_ in the company's an executive.  Besides, we can always claim we were checking on our investments."

"You think they'll have sake?" asked Ryoko.

Tanda thought for a moment.  "Sake, as in rice wine?  Sure, I think I've seen it in the back room."

Ryoko and Urd took off in a cloud of dust.  A few moments later the others joined them in the hotel lounge.

"What'll it be for you?" the assassin asked the bounty hunter as they headed up to the bar.

"Beer's fine," Nagi replied.  "And a bowl of carrots for my friend here."  She indicated Ken-ohki.

"Chow!" the cabbit agreed, with an unintended pun.

Tanda looked closely at Nagi for the first time and her eyes brightened.  "Hey!" she exclaimed.  "Is that really a cabbit on your shoulder?"

Nagi reached up and gave Ken-ohki's fur a quick stroke.  The cabbit purred with delight.  "Yes it is.  His name's Ken-ohki."

"He?  It's a male?  Wow, those are rare.  Don't let any of the locals know that or they'll try to buy him and you know what they say about dealing with a Deveel..."

Nagi chuckled at the idea of someone trying to take a cabbit against its will.  For all their cuteness and seeming harmlessness, they had the impressive ability of defending themselves by turning into powerful, well-armed space cruisers.  "I don't think that'll be a problem," she said, scratching her furry friend under his chin.

"How do you know about cabbits anyway?" Ryoko asked the green haired woman.

"Well, I've never actually seen one.  No one has.  But years ago someone had a booth here and they were in their catalog."

"Washu had a booth here?" wondered the pirate.

"Small red head with a thing for crabs?" asked the friendly assassin.  Ryoko nodded and Nagi chuckled.  "You talk like you know her," the green haired woman said to Ryoko.

"She does," explained Urd.  "Washu's her mom."

"Shut up Urd," Ryoko whispered out of the corner of her mouth.  "We don't know which Washu she's talking about."

"Oh, right!" the goddess mumbled back.  She turned to Tanda, "Hey, didn't you say something about gambling?"

*****

The minute the group entered the room Urd's eyes lit up.  She made a beeline for one of the card tables whose dealer was a small, very female, reddish colored humanoid with horns and a pointed tail.  The rest of the group followed Urd to the table.  

The goddess watched the game for a few moments then turned to Tanda.  "What do you use for money here?" she asked the assassin.

Tanda shrugged.  "Gold is accepted pretty much everywhere, but since this is the Bazaar they'll take anything that's legal tender, anywhere."  She crooked a finger at one of the pit bosses and he made his way over to them.  She whispered in his ear and he nodded and snapped his fingers.  A pile of chips and a cup of sake appeared next to Urd as she sat down at the table.

"May I ask your name My Lady?" the dealer said to Urd.

Urd produced one of her cards from thin air.  "Sure, I'm Urd, Goddess First Class…"

"Second Class," muttered Ryoko loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Urd glared angrily at her friend.  "_Second Class_," she corrected.  "Limited."  She handed the card to the Deveel who neatly tucked it away in her vest.

"Very good My Lady," said the dealer as if goddesses joined her game every day.  To the rest of the table she said, "The goddess Urd has joined the table.  The game is Blackjack and the bet is two gold pieces."

*****

"So you're a troll huh?" Ryoko asked Tanda as she took a sip of her sake and watched Urd play cards.

"Kinda," replied the woman.  "I'm a Trollop, that's the female of the species."

"I saw a movie with trolls once.  Now what was it called…?"  Ryoko's expression showed her lost in deep thought.

"The Tenth Kingdom?" prompted Urd, turning over her cards to reveal another blackjack.  She started bouncing up and down causing several male bystanders to faint.

"No," said the pirate tapping her chin with a finger.  "Tenchi rented that one once but the trolls in it looked more like deformed Klingons.  I did like the scene with the talking mushrooms though.  The one I'm thinking of was a cartoon with a smartass donkey."  Ryoko started to quietly sing 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' as she tried to recall the name of the other movie.

Urd accepted a card from the dealer, she lifted it's edge then flipped it over.  Her total was twenty.  "Shrek," said Urd raking in another pile of chips.  "The donkey was funny."

"That's it!" Ryoko stopped singing in mid tune causing many in the large group of males that had gathered around them to moan in disappointment.  "Anyway," she continued to Tanda as if nothing had happened.  "I thought trolls were hideous monsters that ate children."

"Oh, you mean like my brother, Chumley.  But he doesn't really eat children, in fact he loves kids.  He does scare them a bit though when he's out on a job in his 'Big Crunch' persona."

Ryoko just nodded politely, not having any idea what the Trollop was talking about.

*****

Nagi wandered back over to the table from where she'd been chatting with several beings.  She whispered something in Ryoko's ear and the pirate nodded, finishing her drink with one gulp.  Putting the empty down she touched Urd on the elbow.  "Time to go," she said.  She turned to Tanda to explain.  "See, we're only out for the evening and we've given ourselves an hour or so at each place.  Nagi here's acting as our conscience and watchdog."

"But…  but…  I'm winning!  Wah!  I don't want to leave!" cried the goddess.  Ryoko looked over at the assassin who gently patted Urd on the shoulder.

"Don't worry dear," Tanda said.  "We'll keep your winnings in the bank so that you'll have something to spend the next time you're out this way."

"Really?" sniffed Urd, her expression brightening.

The green haired woman nodded.  "Of course.  Our company is a major shareholder in this establishment and as a company executive you have my word."  She led them out of the casino.  "I wish I could join you guys, sounds like loads of fun, but I'm already late for work.  Maybe we'll see you again sometime."

*****

"Damn it's cold here," Nagi complained out loud as she pulled her cloak tighter to ward off the chill, damp air.  Both Ryoko and Urd seemed unaffected by the cold.  "Where are we now?" the bounty hunter wondered.

"Don't know," said the pirate.  "But that looks like a good place to find out."  She pointed down the deserted street to a building with raucous sounds of merriment pouring out of it.  They started down the street towards the tavern, Ryoko and Urd floating and Nagi walking once again.

"Wherever this is it's low-tech," grumbled Nagi as she followed the other two.

Ryoko's sensitive ears caught the comments and she floated back to the bounty hunter.  "How would you know that?" she asked.

"They use horses," Nagi replied.  "No motorized vehicles."

"What led you to determine this?" wondered the pirate.

"I just stepped in some of the evidence," explained the bounty hunter as she attempted to scrape said 'evidence' off her boot against a low wooden railing.

*****

Apart from a few sidelong glances no one paid any obvious attention to the three travelers as they entered and took a table near the roaring fire.  The tavern had a rough-hewn plank floor and was dimly lit by two cast-iron chandeliers hung from what appeared to be oak beams; wall sconces were more or less evenly spaced around the periphery, all with real torches and candles.  

"This place looks positively medieval," said Urd as she looked around the room noticing the rough-looking crowd.  She sniffed the air.  "Smells like it too."

"That's Nagi's boots," Ryoko replied.

Nagi gave Ryoko a dirty look then stood up and swaggered to the bar to order their drinks as Ryoko continued.

"Yeah," the pirate said surveying the décor.  "Yet there's something vaguely familiar about it…"

Urd shuddered.  "I know, and it doesn't have a pleasant feeling to it either.  It's almost like we've been here before and something terrible happened."  About this time Nagi returned with two flagons of wine and a mug of beer for herself.  She set them down on the table and took her seat.  Urd nodded her thanks and took a sip.  "I don't know," the goddess continued.  "There's just this vague feeling…"  She shrugged it off and turned her attention to her drink.

The three sat nursing their drinks quietly for a few minutes drawing looks from the other patrons.  One exceeding large fellow started toward their table but a glare from Nagi and a flash of her sword hilt sent him back to his teasing friends.  Nagi knew it was only a matter of time though until one of them got up enough alcoholic courage to approach them.  The bounty hunter finished her drink and stood up to get another when the door to the tavern suddenly flew open.  Every head in the place turned to look at the tall, cloaked shadow that stood on the threshold.

"Oh ho ho ho ho ho," the person laughed as they stepped inside.  The door closed by itself behind them.  Urd's eyes widened and she spit out a mouthful of wine as Ryoko cringed back against the wall.  

_It couldn't be, _ Ryoko thought.  The woman threw back her hood to reveal a beautiful, finely chiseled face framed by a mass of long dark hair.  A golden circlet gleamed on her forehead.  _It is! _  "Urd, that's…" the pirate turned to the goddess just as the woman threw back her head and laughed again.  "Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho"

"I know," gritted out Urd while covering her ears  "That's why this place looked so familiar."  The crowd of ruffians had disappeared leaving only the three women, the barkeep (who was now wearing earplugs) and the tall stranger.  Nagi sat back down to watch what would happen as the woman stepped up to the bar.

Totally oblivious to the fact that she was the only person standing, the tall woman threw a handful of coins on the rough wooden surface and demanded a mug of wine.  Downing it in one gulp she ordered another then turned to survey the room.  When her gaze fell upon the three seated at the table she picked up her mug and headed over.  Ryoko and Urd vainly tried to make themselves invisible by ducking under the table, but it was too late, the woman had already recognized them.

"Oh ho ho ho ho!  Look what we have here!  I know you two," she pointed at Ryoko.  "You're one of that Prince Tenchi's wives and you," she looked at Urd.  "Are a goddess.  Am I right?  Tell me, am I?"

Ryoko winced at the sound of the laughter and tried to cover her ears, Urd's eyes were starting to spin and she took a huge swallow of her drink to calm her nerves.  Nagi looked up at the woman with interest and the other coolly returned the appraising look.  "Aren't you going to introduce me to you friend Ryoko?" the woman asked, shedding her cloak to reveal a well-endowed figure barely covered by a skimpy leather outfit.  She sat down across from Nagi, next to Ryoko.

"Uh, sure," Ryoko nodded to the hunter.  "This is a friend of ours, her name's Nagi.  She's a bounty hunter by trade.  Nagi, this is Naga the Serpent.  We met her once before."

"Oh ho ho ho ho!  Nagi and Naga.  Let's hope they don't get us mixed up."

"Not much chance of that," grumbled Nagi, standing up and heading to the bar for her refill.

"So, how is your beautiful wife?" Naga asked Ryoko after Nagi had resumed her seat.

"Beautiful?" Ryoko snorted.  "Ayeka?  She's fine.  She and Tenchi had a little boy a couple of months ago.  They're all doing well."

"And when is it going to be your turn my dear?" the tall sorceress asked, leering at the other woman.

Ryoko growled into her drink "Touchy subject.  Let's not go there."

They all drank in silence for a few moments before Urd spoke up.  "So tell me Naga, where's Lina?  I thought you were going to stick with her for a while."

Naga looked down at the table before replying.  "I was and she forgave me for that time on Mipross; but her and Gourry…  I just couldn't hang around while all that was going on, so we parted ways several months ago."

"And you haven't gone back to Saillune yet?" the goddess asked.

"Never.  But I did give Amelia permission to tell daddy that she saw me and that I was all right.  But not where I was; I'm not ready to face him yet."  Naga finished her drink and started for the bar to get a refill.  

Nagi leaned over to Ryoko.  "What's the story with her?" whispered the bounty hunter, keeping one eye on the tall woman.  "She sounded all depressed when Urd started talking about those other people."

Ryoko paused for a moment wondering if she should tell Nagi the story.  _Ah hell, _ she thought.  _What's it gonna hurt? _  "Well, you see… Naga's in love with Lina, another sorceress, but Lina doesn't return the feeling because Lina loves some swordsman named Gourry, although she has a problem admitting it.  Naga's tried to stay friends with both of them but it looks like it was too much for her to handle."

Nagi shook her head in disbelief.  "And I thought you, Tenchi and Ayeka were bad.  Who's this Amelia person?  Another love interest?"

Ryoko smiled at Nagi's sudden curiosity.  Knowing both women's sexual orientation an idea occurred to her.  Maybe Urd had some of her little pills tucked away somewhere...  "Nope, Amelia's her little sister, Princess Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune.  Their dad's the ruler of Saillune, one of the largest countries around."

Nagi looked at Naga with a new awareness.  "She's a princess?"

Ryoko shook her head negatively.  "Was a princess.  She ran away from home years ago after a traumatic incident and she's never gone back."  Ryoko scratched the back of her head, a habit she'd picked up from her husband.  "I dunno though, I guess she's still a princess maybe."

Naga returned with another round of drinks.  "So what brings you all here this time?" she asked cheerfully.  "That Xellos person playing tricks again?"

"Nope," replied Urd accepting the wine.  "We're just out for a night on the town and we ended up here courtesy of one of Washu's machines and my sister's meddling."  The goddess explained about the randomness of the machine and why.

"That sounds… interesting.  Mind if I tag along for the rest of the night?  I'm bored here."

Ryoko looked at Urd who just shrugged.  She then glanced at Nagi who had a sudden gleam in her eye.  _Might not need those pills after all. _  She made her decision.  "Sure, why not?  The more the merrier they say."

"Great!" responded Naga the Serpent.  She finished her drink and stood up.  "Where to next?"

"That's all part of the fun," said Urd sourly.  "We don't know where we'll end up or who we'll meet."

Nagi swallowed the last of her beer and stood up.  "Then I guess we'd better find out."

The three, now four, travelers left the tavern and vanished into the darkness of the night except for a loud voice that echoed back into the now empty tavern, "Ew!  Not again!"

*****

To be continued?

(Maybe)

*****

Author's Notes

For those of you that have absolutely no idea who Tananda, Pookie, Chumley and the rest are I wholeheartedly suggest you run, not walk, to your local bookstore or library and check out the Myth series by Robert L. Asprin.  If the name sounds familiar it's because he's also the editor of the Thieves World books.  The Myth series chronicles the (mis)adventures of Skeeve, Aahz, Tananda, Gleep the Dragon and a whole host of other unique and comical characters as they venture across the dimensions using magic and technology.  (Sound familiar?  I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me but I guess the Myth stories have influenced me more than I thought.)  Thus I break my own rule and include non-anime/manga characters in the story.  Sigh…

After writing this chapter I realized that it should have been posted under Crossovers-Anime not Anime-Tenchi Muyo, as it fits better there.  Oh well, too late now; I don't want to move it and lose all the reviews.  Besides, given the amount of Tenchi postings that have been occurring lately it'll probably be buried three or four pages deep within a few hours anyway.  (That's a good thing BTW!)

*****

Review Responses

Dennisud – I'm already working on that story about Ayeka's pregnancy.  I have a few ideas but it's going to take a while for it to come together I think.

Lizzy Hakubi – Here's Chapter 2.  I realize you won't know some of the characters but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Agent_86 – Now that I have the cast assembled its time to get down to some serious drinking and hell-raising.

Vsdefender – You want property damage?  Heh, now we've got Naga in the mix as well.  (Got kinda carried away with the review button, didn't ya?)

Wharpt – All right, there's Tananda.  I couldn't fit Aahz in but will his cousin do?  And the more I thought about it the more I remembered that Bunny and our favorite Trollop don't get along that well so I left Skeeve's Administrative Assistant out.  Hope you don't mind.

Thundergod – Feel free to write something, _anything_.  All the permanent players are now in place and remember that time runs at different speeds in the various Realities so even though this is only one night, it could go on for a while.

Alighthawk – Hey, watch it with the age jokes.  Just because I'm probably one of the older (age wise, certainly _not_ skill wise) writers here there's no need to shout it around.  JK  Anyway, they _were_ in the Universe Reality, but not now.  And I hope the sorceress I put in was the one you meant.  (I was going to use her from the start anyway, too bad she can't cast a Dragon Slave – talk about property damage…)

Akemi Akibi – I think that story's done but I did leave the original group on Jurai so there's certainly room for a couple more chapters if I want to do them later.

*****

BobR

04/30/2002


	3. Sometimes You Want To Go...

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

*****

Ladies Night Out

Chapter 3

Sometimes You Want To Go…

*****

The bartender handed the chubby man at the end of the bar another beer.  "Ok, so these four beautiful women come walking into the bar…"

"Is this a joke?" asked the big man taking the beer with a nod and grabbing a handful of pretzels.

The first man held up his bandaged and splinted arm.  "Believe me, I wish it was.  So anyway…  Where was I?"

"Four women…" prompted the other.

"Oh yeah.  So these four good-looking women walk in and take a table.  Right away every head in the place turns and looks at them.  There was just something about those four…"  His eyes lit up and he took a long swallow of his bottled water.  "Just something about them…"

*****

Ryoko pushed open the door to the taproom and walked in, followed by Urd, Nagi and Naga the Serpent.  A blast of cold air accompanied by a flurry of snow came in on their heels.  The door closed behind them blocking the winter storm that was raging outside.  Nagi shrugged out of her cloak, as did Naga; the later now wearing a sensible outfit hastily conjured by Urd's magic after seeing how all the others in this place were garbed.  The aforementioned goddess spied an unoccupied table against the far wall and the small group made their way to it across the brightly lit, sparsely filled room.

Ryoko leaned over the table so that the others could hear her over the din.  "This reminds me of a few places I've been to back home.  I think they call them 'pubs' or something like that.  Supposed to be European or American."

Urd nodded as she looked around.  "I've been in a few of those myself, as well as real pubs in Britain a couple of times over the centuries.  It does kinda look like that.  Friendly, everyone knows everyone else.  A nice place to have a good time.  The storm must be keeping people away though, usually these places are packed."

A small woman with dark, curly hair and a perpetually sour expression made her way over to the table.  "What'll it be ladies?" she asked.

Naga looked across the table at Ryoko.  "What language is she speaking?" the sorceress asked, raising a shapely eyebrow.

Ryoko shrugged.  "Can't really tell.  My brain has a built-in translator; I can understand pretty much everything I hear.  Could be Russian for all I know."

"English," said Urd.  "American English if I'm not mistaken.  New England from the accent."

"Ah!"  Ryoko brightened.  "Tenchi's been teaching me and Ayeka English, with Washu's help of course.  I'm getting pretty good too, according to them."

The waitress smirked at them.  "Foreigners, eh?  What - can - I - get - you?" she repeated, pausing between each word as if that would help them understand better.

"Just a moment," Ryoko said in flawless English, holding up her index finger.  She turned to the bounty hunter.  "She wants to know what we want to drink."

Nagi nodded in understanding.  "Beer for me," she said.  "Whatever's on tap'll be fine.  Naga?"

"Wine," replied the tall sorceress.  "A nice red.  Bring the whole bottle."

"A draft and a bottle of red for them, whatever's cheap," Ryoko told the woman.  "Sake for me, if you have any.  Otherwise a shot and a beer."

"Sake?  Yeah, we got that.  We have some Jap businessmen that stop in every once in a while.  They drink it like water."  The tiny woman looked at Urd.  "How's about you?"

"The same, sake.  Just bring us the bottles," the goddess said in mildly Scandinavian-accented but otherwise perfect English.

The small waitress gave Urd a queer look then wandered over to the bar to order from the tall bartender.  He looked over at the table and saw Ryoko watching him.  He smiled and winked before heading off to the back room to fetch the liquor.  The other waitress, a cute blond, watched him go with a frown on her face and a possessive gleam in her eye then turned her attention back to the book she was reading.

Urd's attention was caught by the television mounted over the bar.  It didn't matter that it was on a 24-hour news channel, monitoring the effects of the storm.  What mattered was that it was a TV.  She slowly swiveled in her seat and her eyes locked onto the small screen like a targeting radar.

*****

The bartender slid another cold one to the rotund man and refilled the pretzel bowl.  He reached under the counter and set a bowl of peanuts alongside it.

"That still doesn't explain what happened to your arm, what came next?" the big man asked, nodding his thanks for the beer.

"I'm coming to that," the bartender replied.  "I went and got the sake and wine and thought that I'd serve them myself…"

*****

The waitress brought Nagi her beer before the man had returned with the other drinks.  Nagi took a sip and settled back in her seat, automatically scanning the room for trouble.  Nothing seemed to be out of place; in fact the whole establishment fairly oozed friendliness and companionship.  For the first time that evening she let her guard down and relaxed, enjoying the beer.  Out of the corner of her eye she watched Naga the Serpent look around the room in wide-eyed fascination.  The bounty hunter spent a few moments reviewing what Ryoko had told her about the sorceress and she decided that she rather liked the tall, dark haired woman.  Her attention shifted to the bartender as he came out of the back room carrying three bottles.  He stopped at the bar to pick up three glasses and started for their table.  She chuckled with amusement as the blonde waitress's head snapped up and her eyes narrowed.

The bartender carefully placed the three bottles and glasses on the table then scooted over a chair from an adjacent table.  He sat down between Urd and Ryoko, almost directly across from Naga.  Nagi hid a grin as she realized what was coming next.

The man rested his elbows on the table.  "So ladies, what brings you out into the weather on a night like this?  Even my regulars are staying away tonight, although it's still early."

Naga spent a few moments figuring out how to get the plastic cork out of the wine bottle, not paying any attention to the man since she didn't understand him anyway.  She eventually figured it out and was amazed at the simplicity of the design.  Tossing the cap away she downed the bottle in two long swallows and smacked her lips as she gave Ryoko a quizzical look.

Ryoko caught Naga's meaning.  "Another…" she said plainly.

Naga nodded and said "'Nathrr"

The man looked at Ryoko then at Naga.  "If you'll excuse me?" he said, standing up and going back into the back room.

"Naga," said Ryoko in Japanese.  "Try it again. Ay Nahth Err," she enunciated.

"Ay Nahth Er" repeated Naga.

"Good," Ryoko nodded. "Now faster."

"Aynathrr," said the sorceress

"Again."

"Aynather."

Ryoko clapped her hands.  "Good.  Make the first sound slower and soften the middle. And say 'please' afterwards, it's polite."

"Anotherr.  Preeze."

The pirate smiled at the sorceress.  "Great.  That's all the English you need to know for now."

*****

The rotund patron set his empty glass down and motioned for a refill.  "Sounds like you were having a good time.  Where were they from that half of them didn't speak English?"

The bartender took the empty and replaced it with a full one.  "Never did find out.  Or maybe they just wouldn't say.  They did look a little strange though.  Beautiful, but strange."

*****

The barkeep returned to the table with two more bottles of the wine and another of sake.  Passing the wine to Naga, he resumed his seat.  "So, are you ladies members of a band or something?" he asked innocently.

Ryoko crinkled her brow.  "A band?  What makes you think that?"  She poured herself and Urd another drink.

"I dunno.  The hair color, the clothing.  I mean, blue hair isn't common around here, unless you're over 70 that is.  And the contacts…  I've never seen golden or red eye color before.  Kinda sexy though."

"Thanks," said the ex-pirate.  "My _husband_ thinks so too."

"Oops.  Sorry, I didn't know you were married.  My apologies."

"S'all right.  I'll let it pass this time."  Ryoko toasted him with her glass.

"What about your friends, are they all married too?" the man asked.

"Them?  No.  But somehow I don't think that Nagi or Naga would be interested.  Feel free to try though.  If you can make them understand you."

"How's about her?  Would she be interested?" he inclined his head towards Urd.

"Urd?  Maybe.  She's a hard one to figure out."

"So, now I know their names.  What's yours?"

"I'm called Ryoko.  It means 'Devil Caller' in Japanese.  Pretty much the same in Juraian too."

He smiled condescendingly at her.  "Juraian?  Never heard of it.  Well, if you're not members of a band, what do you all do?"

"Me?  I'm a Princess of Jurai now and an ex-pirate."

That brought on another wink and a smirk.  "Uh huh.  Right.  And I'm the Prince of Wales."

Ryoko smiled behind her cup.  She hadn't expected him to believe her, even though it was nothing but the truth.

"And what about them?  Are they all princesses too?" he joked.

"Well, Naga is," Ryoko said seriously.  "Sorta anyway.  She's also a sorceress."

"Yes, she casts quite a spell, doesn't she?" the bartender said agreeably.

The woman in question, her cheeks beginning to flush pink with alcohol, knew they were talking about her.  She looked at them and gave a slight wave then giggled and resumed her drinking.

"How's about Nagi?  What does she do when she's not out having a beer?"

Ryoko glanced over at the other woman.  "She's a bounty hunter.  Quite good in fact, she almost always gets her target; there's only one that's ever gotten away from her, my 'sister'."

Nagi raised an eyebrow and smiled as the pair's attention turned to her.  She didn't have a clue as to what they were talking about, but she recognized her name and it didn't appear to concern anything bad.  Ken-ohki stuck his nose out from under the Nagi's cloak and twitched his whiskers.  The cabbit, sensing no danger, hopped out onto the table and the man started petting him.

"Ah.  Well, she's certainly captured my heart, along with her little friend here.  Usually we don't allow pets, but this time I'll make an exception.  He looks like a cross between a rabbit and a cat.  What is he?"

Ryoko giggled.  "A cross between a rabbit and a cat.  He's a cabbit, they're very rare."

"Yes, I guess they would be."  He gave the little animal a final pat and Ken-ohki disappeared back under the bounty hunter's cloak.  "Getting back to our original topic," the barkeep continued.  "What about tall, tan and beautiful here?  The one with the TV addiction."

"I'm a goddess," said Urd, her eyes not moving from the TV screen.

The man took Urd's hand and kissed it.  "Yes you are.  And I shall worship at your feet from this moment on."

This drew the goddess' attention away from the TV for a moment.  She gently pulled her hand away from his.  "That's really not necessary.  As far as I know my temple doesn't even exist anymore.  Besides, I foresee that you'll have other matters to attend to in your spare time."  She indicated the blonde with the book who was glaring angrily in their direction.  Seeing that she'd been noticed, she slammed the book down with a thud and stalked off to the ladies room.  The bartender pretended he hadn't seen anything.

"This guy knows all the lines, doesn't he?" Urd asked Ryoko in Japanese.

Ryoko chuckled into her sake.  "Sure does.  He's good; Tenchi could've taken a few pointers from him.  Probably still could."

*****

The bartender took a swig from his water bottle and leaned against the wooden surface.  A few more people had found their way in as the evening progressed but it looked like the storm was going to keep business down tonight.  A man in a snow covered gray and blue uniform opened the door and staggered in, banging his mittened hands together to help thaw them.  The bartender drew another brew and set it out for the new arrival.

The big man already seated at the end of the bar stuffed a handful of peanuts into his mouth.  "Geez. I wish I'd gotten here earlier, sounds like I missed the fun.  A goddess, a pirate, a sorceress and a bounty hunter, quite a group though it's a bit late for Halloween.  But that _still_ doesn't explain about your arm."

"Hold on, I'm coming to that part."

The postman took a stool and listened as the bartender continued his story.

*****

Ryoko poured another cupful of sake for herself and glanced out the window at the blowing snow.  She shivered at the thought of going back out into the storm, even though nothing but really extreme temperatures bothered her anymore (according to Washu since Kagato had messed with her genetics); still, it looked damned _cold_ out there.  Every so often a well-bundled pedestrian would move past, hunched against the cold wind.  According to the television over the bar, which Urd was still glued to with rapt attention Ryoko noticed, the entire city was shut down because of the weather.

Nagi watched the young man make his way down the steps and into the bar.  She saw nothing unusual about him, dressed for the weather as he was, but she felt uneasy, as if something was about to happen.  He stood next to the bar for a minute and looked around the almost empty room.  The blonde waitress put down her book and after giving the bartender another dirty look, went to take the man's order.

Ryoko watched the young man with detached interest as he talked briefly with the waitress.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Nagi tense up as the man reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out something that glinted evilly in the light.  She heard a sharp intake of breath as the waitress recognized the pistol pointing at her.  The bartender leaped out of his seat and dived for the thief only to be knocked down by Urd as the weapon swung in his direction.  

Nagi tried to draw her own weapon but it was caught in her cloak.  The bounty hunter cursed and watched helplessly as Ryoko teleported away.  There was a hiss and an orange flash then the gun was suddenly in two pieces, the barrel and half of the receiver falling to the floor with a loud clatter.  Ryoko rematerialized next to the would-be robber, her energy blade held at his throat.

"Uh, uh," the pirate said in a low voice.  "It's not very nice to intrude on a lady's fun.  Now I think you'll have to pay for your interruption."  She winked at Nagi and brought the sword slightly closer to his neck.  The heat and the static discharge made thief moan in terror and he looked up at Ryoko pleadingly.  The pirate grinned evilly, showing a bit of elongated canine.  The man's eyes suddenly rolled back in his head and he went limp.  

"Oops," the cyan haired woman said to no one in particular.  "It seems that he's had a little accident."  The energy blade flickered out and Ryoko looked down at Urd and the bartender on the floor.  She poked the goddess with her toe.  "It's ok, you can let him up now."

Urd floated up and the barkeep took a deep breath, he had been in the process of being smothered by one of the softer portions of Urd's anatomy.  The man slowly got to his feet as police sirens sounded outside the bar.  His eyes were unfocused and he had a strange smile on his face.  

At the sound of the sirens the blonde waitress hung up the phone she had grabbed during Ryoko's little display.  Turning to the others, she saw Ryoko holding the limp robber and the bartender rising from under Urd who, like Ryoko, was now floating several inches off the floor.  Seeing the look of rapture on the man's face her eyes narrowed.  Looking around for a weapon her gaze fell upon the book she's been reading moments before.  She picked up the thick, bound volume and sent it flying at the barkeep in a toss that would have done any big-league pitcher proud.  In his dazed state he barely got his arm up in time to deflect it; there was a sharp crack as the spine of the book hit his forearm followed by a howl of pain.  The look of anger on the woman's face was quickly replaced by one of concern but it was too late; the dark sorceress, still seated at the table and well into her third bottle of wine, saw the waitress attack the nice bartender.  Getting unsteadily to her feet Naga pointed a finger at the woman.  "Freeze Arrow!" she yelled.  A blue light flew from her outstretched hand and encompassed the blonde.  When it faded the woman was entirely covered in a thin casing of ice, frozen in her last position.  Naga sat down heavily and fell over into Nagi's arms.  "Preeze," she sighed.  She let out a quiet hiccup then started snoring gently.  Nagi sat there holding the other woman and wondering what had just happened.

Ryoko draped the limp form of the unconscious thief over a bar stool and grabbed Urd by the wrist.  She wanted to be gone by the time the cops got through the door so she headed for the ladies room down the back hallway.  Letting the goddess go, she snagged Nagi and Naga as they passed the table.  Urd tossed a few pieces of gold down on the round tabletop then followed the others.  She passed the other waitress coming out of the pool and dart room in the back, rushing to see what was going on up front.  The woman was spun around several times as Urd ducked into the bathroom just in time to see Ryoko pull Washu's device from under Nagi's cloak.

"Time to go ladies," the ex-pirate and occasional Juraian princess said as they all gathered close, Naga still slumped over Nagi's shoulder.  Ryoko pushed the button.

*****

"And then the silver haired one tackled me," said the bartender in awe.  "Next thing I knew, I was in heaven; she was like a divine being, so light, so warm, so soft, so _strong_..."

The chubby patron took another swig of his beer.  "You don't remember anything after that?"

"I remember the blue haired one holding some sort of glowing rod to the thief's neck and him fainting after he wet himself.  It was like something from Star Wars the way it hissed and sparked."

"He wet himself and it hissed and sparked?  How unusual."

The bartender shook his head in disbelief.  "The whole situation was unusual, but that's not what I meant.  The glowing rod hissed and sparked."

"Is that when you hurt your arm?" asked the thinner of the pair.

"Nope, it was afterwards.  It was when… Um, lessee… Oh, my goddess let me up just as the cops showed up and then Diane…"

The uniformed man nodded in understanding.  "THAT'S when you hurt your arm."

The bartender gave him a half grin.  "Yeah.  I had this silly smile on my face and she threw her book at me.  It's a clean break the paramedics said."

"Where's Diane now?"

"Well the tall dark haired one I was telling you about, Naga, the one with the big…  Anyway, she pointed at her and yelled something, in Japanese I think.  Suddenly Diane was covered in ice; Carla's in the back thawing her out with a hair dryer right now."

The chubby man looked at the bartender over the rim of his mug.  "Sammy, you'd better get out of here before she regains consciousness," he advised.

A blood-curdling scream echoed from the office and the cackle of wicked laughter closely followed it.  Sam cringed and grabbed his coat from under the bar.  He wasn't looking forward to braving the storm, but discretion and all that…  "Yeah, I think I'll take the rest of the night off.  Watch the bar for a bit, will ya Norm?  Woody'll be here in a few minutes."  With that he shrugged into his coat and headed out into the storm.  

Norm sighed deeply, then smiled and got up to pour himself another beer.  "So, whadda ya think Cliffy?  Sammy fall off the wagon and start tapping into his stock?  I mean flying women, disappearing and reappearing babes.  A lightsaber for crying out loud."  His eyes grew wide as he spotted some oddly shaped pieces of yellow metal glinting on the shelf under the bar.  "Uh, Cliff…"

The mailman didn't hear him; he was still answering the last question.  "Sam fall off the wagon?  Nah.  I think he's telling the truth.  There are many strange things in this world.  Did you know that in the old Norse Pantheon there were these three witches…"

*****

To be continued

*****

Author's Notes

I want to thank Vsdefender for giving me the premise for this chapter.  How's about the most famous bar in America he said.  Send them to a place where everybody knows your name he said.  So I did.  But I tried to keep you guessing until the very end.  Don't know if I succeeded or not.

*****

Review Responses

Thundergod – I'm surprised you've never heard of the Myth series.  I hope you can still find them, they're most enjoyable.

Meekachu – Don't know if you're going to see this or not.  I hope you're enjoying your summer off of school.  Seems my own school had no classes available for me to teach (enrollment's down) so I get the summer off too.  I'm gonna miss the $$ and a few of my students.

Agent_86 – That's per-VECT to you bud.  (Aahz and Pookie snarl and each show several rows of sharp, pointy teeth…)  Don't tell me you've never read any of the Myth books either?

Lizzy Hakubi – I know, I'm sorry.  I don't know if you'll do any better with this chapter either.  (I have to work on getting this storyline back onto its original premise.  But not too hard, I'm having fun.)

Dennisud – Actually, I considered Quark's place on DS9, but someone's already tried that.  They never finished it though.

Chandelle – Heh.  Seems this chapter starts where your review left off.

Vsdefender – The more I think about it, the more I agree.  Both have women chasing after them but are too shy to take advantage of it. But where would Massha fit into any of the Tenchi continuums?  Or Don Bruce?  Guido?  Nunzio?  Forget Guido and Nunzio, they're Azaka and Kamidake.  (Say, that gives me an idea…)

Wharpt – Sorry, I'm not really into Ranma (although I'm currently reading and enjoying the mangas) and you're right, Sailor Moon's too young.  Now, the rest of the Sailor Scouts… (Nah, let's not even go there.)

Kurai Sakura – Here it is.

Alighthawk – I don't have to check for grays.  I see them in the mirror every morning.  My beard, my temples…

Priest – Continue I shall, albeit slowly.

Smack54 – Well, trouble IS Urd's middle name.

DragonBard – Still dwelling on The Game?  That piece had some major flaws.  sigh

Ryoko's not "mature" enough to deal with it yet and Urd doesn't have the fine control required. (That's why she's still second class)

Sure, Washu could probably fix Ryoko's "problem", but that would require genetic alteration and then Ryoko wouldn't be Ryoko any more.

The niece of their goddess?  Hell, she's the SISTER of their goddess.

*****

BobR

5/21/2002


	4. The Force? What's That?

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

*****

Ladies Night Out

Chapter 4

The Force?  What's That?

*****

The tall, black haired woman, still a bit tipsy from the wine she'd drank at that strange little pub, poked her head around the corner of the building and looked down the dusty street.  Seeing nothing amiss aside from some blurry looking beings wandering about, she took a step out into the street.  And was almost run down by a flying vehicle that sped in from nowhere.  She spun around a few times then sat down in the dust with a solid thud.  An old woman seated in a nearby doorway shook her fist at the departing vehicle.  "Damn swoop riding idiots.  They think they own the town."  She slowly stood up and made her way to where the girl was now sprawled on her back in the dirt.  "Are you ok dearie?  You seem a little out of it."

"She'll be fine," said a rich, musical voice with an odd accent from behind her.  The old woman turned and saw three other girls standing in a semi-circle around her.  The one who had spoken, a dusky platinum hair beauty continued.  "She's just had a couple to many tonight.  Speaking of which, is there somewhere nearby that four lovely women can get a drink and relax?"

The old woman eyed the trio suspiciously, in this town, things were seldom as they seemed.  In addition to the one who had spoken there was a cyan haired girl with wide, golden eyes and another wearing a cloak that partially hid her features.  The wisps of hair that escaped from the hood were only slightly lighter than the golden-eyed one's spiky mane.  There were enough similarities between the two that they could've related.  Distantly, true, but related none-the-less.  She sensed no bad intentions in this group so she pointed down the street.  "Next corner, turn right.  Wuher's Cantina's across the square."

"Thanks," said the cyan-tressed one as she knelt down to help her fallen comrade to unsteady feet.  She tossed the old woman a small gold piece and the four started off in the direction indicated, the fallen one being supported between the two blue haired women.

The old woman looked at the coin and didn't recognize the currency, but she knew gold when she felt it, which wasn't often out here at the ass-end of the galaxy.  She called after them, "You girls be careful, this is a dangerous place, especially after dark.  Mos Eisley's home to all kinds of pirates and cutthroats."

The two that were helping the third suddenly dropped her.  "Pirates?" said one.  "Cutthroats?" choked the other.  They looked at each other strangely.  "Sounds like our kinda place, eh Ryoko?" said the hooded one.

"Yeah," replied the one called Ryoko.  "I can hardly wait.  C'mon Naga, get your drunken butt in gear.  Nagi, gimme a hand with her."  She reached down and grabbed her friend under one arm, hoisting her to her feet.

"Ryoko, can't we just rest here for a few more minutes?" asked the tall beauty.

"There's booze Naga, music, wine…  All just up the street a bit."

"Wine?  Music?  Well then, what are we waiting for?"  She suddenly straightened herself up and strode off down the middle of the street.  After a half dozen steps she stopped and turned.  "Um, exactly where is this place?"  It was Ryoko and Nagi's turn to fall over in the street.

The old woman smiled and made her way back to her hovel.  She resumed her seat on the step and rubbed her eyes.  There must be something wrong with them; she could've sworn the platinum haired girl had been floating several inches off the ground.  But that was impossible, wasn't it?  Young 'uns; always discovering some new way to annoy their elders.

*****

"This must be the place," commented Nagi as the sound of a strange melody wafted out through the entryway's static barrier.  As she entered the cantina a detector set into the wall started buzzing.  

The man behind the bar turned toward the bounty hunter.  "You!  We don't serve droids in here, take it back outside."

Nagi looked puzzled for a moment as the other three crowded in behind her.  "Droids?" she wondered.

"Mechanicals, artificial life," the barkeep snarled.  "Take it out of my place."

Nagi pulled her cabbit from under her cloak.  "You mean him?  He stays with me, always."

The bartender peered at the small animal.  "Doesn't look mechanical; what is it?"

Nagi set Ken-ohki on her shoulder.  The cabbit gave a mighty yawn and curled up; soft snores were heard from his direction.  A general chuckle passed through the place at the bartender's expense.  "Silicon-based life," Nagi explained.  "If your detector's set for anything non-carbon based that probably explains it."

"Yeah, I guess."  The man turned back to his other customers and the four women entered the bar.  The place was crowded; the only table available was one in the back with a small hole burned through it.  They made their way through the crowd and appropriated it. 

"Wonder what did this," Ryoko said, fingering the small hole.

Nagi gave it a cursory examination then dismissed it.  "Energy weapon of some kind, probably a phase modulated blaster."

"Uh, yeah.  Whatever."  Ryoko gestured for a waitress to come over and take their order.

"What'll it be ladies?" the green skinned humanoid asked.  "We have some nice Corellian whisky.  Wyyrens' Reserve, the best.  Just came in, courtesy of one of our former customers, the one that made that hole there in fact.  Or there's lomin ale, the local brew, not imported.  It's not bad either.  Maybe a nice synthetic wine?"

"Bottle of the whiskey and three glasses," said Urd.  She looked across the table at Naga who'd passed out again.  "Make that two glasses.  And some ale for our other friend."

"Comin' right out," the waitress said.  She disappeared back into the mass of beings.

In a remarkably short time their drinks had appeared and the band, which had been on a break, began playing again.  Ryoko found the tune interesting but unusual.  The beings playing the odd instruments were mostly tall with pasty complexions, huge dark eyes and a series of folds that resembled gills around their cheeks and mouths.  Upon asking she learned that they were called Bithians and the music style was called Jizz Wailer.

A shadow fell across the table and the women looked up to find a being with a reddish complexion, horns and sharp, pointy teeth smiling down at them.  "Good evening ladies.  Enjoying yourselves?"  He looked at each of them and his eyes settled on Nagi, seated at the back of the booth between Urd and the still out of it Naga.  "How about a date for the evening?" he asked the bounty hunter, his smile widening to show even more teeth.

Nagi calmly took a sip of her lomin ale before replying.  "No, I don't think so.  You're just not my type."

"Not your type?  I can make you a very happy woman."

"Heh.  I've gotten better lines than that from being out in the sun too long.  Go 'way."  Nagi took another sip but inwardly she tensed up.

"I'm not going anywhere," the Devaronian snarled.  "Not until you agree to spend the night with me."

Ryoko stood up and got in the Devaronian's face. "She said 'No' buster.  She doesn't like men in general and she doesn't like you in particular.  Neither do I." 

The devil-faced being smiled evilly.  "Oh, she'll like me, I guarantee it.  Besides, who's gonna stop me, you?  I think you need to sit back down little lady while your friend and I have a little chat."

There was a sudden hissing noise and Ryoko's orange energy blade was poking the obnoxious being under the chin.  "No one calls me 'little lady' in that tone of voice and gets away with it.  Now BACK OFF!"

The Devaronian gulped and backed away.  "My apologies ladies.  I didn't know you were Jedi."  He turned and disappeared into the crowd.  The word 'Jedi' echoed in whispers through the bar.  Beings that had been admiring the four beauties or scheming of ways to relieve them of their money suddenly found interests in other areas.  Ryoko's sword faded with a soft 'pop'.

"What just happened?" asked Nagi, reholstering the blaster that she'd pulled and kept under the table when the altercation started.  "What's a Jedi?"  Ken-ohki poked his head up and "Chow"ed his agreement with his partner.

Ryoko shrugged her shoulders and resumed her seat.  "I dunno, but as long as they think that's what I am I guess we're safe."

Across the room a hooded figure watched the four with interest but no malice.  The figure seemed to come to a decision and suddenly stood and made it's way over to the girl's table.

Ryoko looked up at the slender person standing before them.  "Wadda ya want.  I'm Jedi, very dangerous."

The figure threw back its hood to reveal a pleasant face framed by brilliant red hair.  "Dangerous?  Definitely," the woman laughed brightly.  "However Jedi you're not," she said more quietly.  She moved the edge of her cloak aside revealing a silver cylinder slightly less than a foot in length clipped to her belt.  "But I am.  My name's Mara, may I join you?"

Ryoko scooched over closer to Urd to make a place for the Jedi.  The dark skinned goddess eyed the new woman with interest.  "Mara huh?  I know a Mara myself.  She's not exactly what you'd call a pleasant person but for a demon she's all right."

"Don't know anything about demons, but I've dealt with a few monsters in my time.  Some human, some not."  Mara poured herself a shot from the half empty bottle on the table.  "Wyrren's Reserve.  I shoulda known that was what was in those boxes Han had us deliver.  Imagine, using Jedi as smuggling partners.  Slick."

"Us?" wondered Urd.  "There's more of you?"

Mara grinned at the goddess.  "Myself and my husband.  This is his homeworld, he's here to search for anything that his father or former master may have left behind.  Me, I'm just tagging along.  We Jedi don't get many vacations."

"I see," said Ryoko.  "And what made you think that I'm not one of these Jedi, like you?"

"Two things.  One, a true Jedi would only use her weapon as a last resort and two, there aren't so many of us that I wouldn't have met you before now.  But the Force does run strong in you."  Mara extended her senses the way her husband had taught her.  She touched Ryoko's inner self and heard the woman sigh as she sensed her inner pain.  She moved on to Nagi and felt the need to prove herself running strongly in the bounty hunter.  Naga she couldn't quite get a handle on but sensed the fun-loving, open personality present.  Lastly she touched Urd's core.  And immediately withdrew.  "Your pardon Lady.  I didn't know."

"Know what?" asked a puzzled Ryoko as she shifted her gaze between the Jedi and the gently smiling Urd.

Mara bowed to the goddess.  "As I said, the Force is strong in each of you, but in the Lady here…  It's hard to explain.  The Force isn't in her; she's a manifestation of the Force itself, an almost perfect blending of the Light and the Dark.  You have something similar inside you too Ryoko, but not quite the same.  I think you need to talk to my husband Luke if you want a better explanation."

Nagi coughed theatrically to get everyone's attention.  "What's this 'Force' you keep talking about?  I don't know if I want this in me or not.  How do I get rid of it?"

"The Force is the energy field that binds all life in the galaxy together," Mara explained.  "It has a Light side and a Dark side.  Everyone has some of it but we who are sensitive to it can use the energy for various purposes.  The task of a Jedi is to use the Force to keep peace."

A look of understanding formed in Ryoko's eyes.  "So, it's like Washu's Duct Tape.  That has a light side and a dark side and it binds anything."

Urd broke into hysterical laughter as she remembered Minagi and Ryoko tying up Xellos with Washu's tape.  It was Mara and Nagi's turn to look confused.

"I don't know this Washu," said the red head, "but that sounds like an old pilot's joke about Space Tape that goes around every so often."

"Washu's Ryoko's mom," said Urd, wiping the tears from her eyes.  "She's a goddess, like me but much more powerful."

Mara turned to Ryoko, her eyes wide.  "Really.  I'd like to meet her someday and I'm sure Luke would too.  Also this other Mara, the demon."

Ryoko snickered at the Jedi's expression. "You'd really enjoy meeting Tsunami then and perhaps Tokimi."

"Her aunts," Urd explained.  "The other two goddesses of the Juraian triumvirate."  She finished the whiskey bottle off and turned to Nagi.  "It's about that time."  The bounty hunter nodded agreement and pulled out Washu's device.

Ryoko looked at her friends and downed the rest of her drink in one gulp.  She glanced across at the unconscious sorceress and stood up.  And almost fell over as the room suddenly spun around several times.  Mara caught her and steadied her on her feet.

"I think you four need to head for home, wherever that is," the Jedi exclaimed.  "Perhaps we'll meet again someday and you can introduce me to these goddesses of yours."

"Knowing Washu, anything's possible," said Nagi getting to her feet.  "We'd best do this outside."  She gestured to Urd. "Ladies first.  Give Ryoko a hand, she looks a little unsteady, I'll grab Naga."

The five made their way outside and around to the same alley that the group had originally appeared in.  Mara said her goodbyes again then stood back as Nagi pressed the button.  The four strange women disappeared and the Jedi turned back towards the cantina with a sigh.  What marvelous Jedi's they would have made.  Especially the boy she'd sensed in Ryoko's mind.  Ryoko's husband, the one named Tenchi.

*****

To be continued

*****

Author's Notes

I didn't want to do the cantina because I couldn't think of a way to fit it in.  But there were so many requests for it that I couldn't ignore the obvious any longer. But instead of setting it in the same timeframe as "A New Hope" I set it in the Expanded Universe of the novels.  If you've never read any of the Star Wars novels I can recommend those by Michael Stackpole, Aaron Alliston and Timothy Zahn.  Most of the others are good too, but those are my favorites.

*****

Review Responses

Dennisud – I haven't seen much B5 and Ten Forward's already been done (although it was only Mihoshi, Sasami and Washu).  I take it you didn't like Robert Asprin's world?  I agree, it could have been better but I was doing it all from memory and it'd been a while since I'd read the books (a situation now remedied).  I didn't even remember that the casino was called "The Fun House".

Wharpt – Well, it wasn't my original intention to have them universe hopping but I had to get Nagi and Naga into the picture and it kinda snowballed.

Thundergod – Come on, how could you not recognize Cheers?  I mean I know I intentionally didn't mention any names until the end, but…

Lizzy Hakubi – I didn't know if you'd ever heard of Cheers (you hadn't) but the situations are standard sitcom stuff.

Kuria Sakura – The Myth books were (are) a series of comedic stories by Robert Lynn Asprin.  Some are first person and some are third person.  I notice they're being reissued with two books per volume.

Chandelle – These ladies can't anyways…

Smack54 – Norm?  You mean Cliff.  Norm was there the whole time Sam was telling the story.

Alighthawk – How could you forget Diane?  But I set this before Frasier came on the scene, probably shortly after Coach died.

Blackbird – I'm not familiar with any current Twilight Zone episodes and the last time I saw any of the old ones was when they were still first-run.  Sorry.  I don't watch Frasier very often either.

Oniken – I wanted to do Quark but you're right, it would be messed up.

Priest – You were about the fifth person who asked for the Mos Eisley cantina and that kinda pushed me into it.

*****

BobR

6/5/2002


	5. No Tribble at All

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

***

Ladies Night Out

Chapter Five

No Tribble at All…

(Chapter written by William "Thundergod" Nichols)

***

Ryoko's eyes narrowed as the group of unlikely inter-dimensional bar-hoppers rematerialized in the darkened confines of the cargo hold of Station K-7.  Instantly her defenses went up.  She had been in such situations before, and the possible outcomes raced through her mind.

"Where are we this time?" Nagi asked as Urd and Ken-Ohki echoed her sentiment with a low meow.  

Ryoko sniffed the slightly stale and dry air and decided that it was recycled, obviously through a primitive rebreather technology of sorts.  A quick tap on the floor with her heel revealed it was solid and metallic.  

"Whersh da bar?" Naga inquired, as she groped around blindly in the darkened bay.

"Steady girl," Ryoko said as she braced the still inebriated sorceress.  "My guess is that we're on a space station of sorts," she surmised as her nocturnal vision revealed a thin outline of light suggesting the rooms' entrance.  "This way," she added, taking Naga by the hand.

"Allow me," Urd offered as ball of light coalesced in her left hand.  Sure enough, they were in a cargo hold on a space station.  Large, orange, corrugated containers flanked either side of the group of bar hoppers.

"Quadro…quadrotritacale?" the goddess read from the large black stenciled lettering somewhat unsteadily on the sides of the containers.

"What's that?" Nagi asked, reaching for the hilt of her energy saber.  

Urd shrugged and shook her head in defeat.  "I dunno."

"It's a high yield hybrid of wheat and rye," Ryoko stated nonchalantly as if such knowledge was as common as water.  A chorus of "uh-huh," rose up from those sober enough to reply.  "Let's see," Ryoko continued as she examined the keypad operating the hold's exit.  The panel beneath the pad flipped down with a click revealing a maze of multi-colored wires.  Ryoko pulled one bundle out before she decided on another.  She had hot-wired many systems less advanced than this, so getting out shouldn't be a problem.  

"Be careful," Nagi warned as Ken-Ohki peeked out from under his master's cloak.  "It could be hostile out there."

"I'm not worried," Ryoko said as she crossed a few wires.  A second later a green light blinked on the keypad and the doors slid open with a hydraulic hiss.  "A piece of cake…" she laughed, looking back at the others who, for some funny reason, had their hands raised, the exception being Naga, who just wobbled slightly.  

"Hold it right there," a gruff voice announced right as Ryoko turned around to stare into the business end of a phaser rifle.   "Hands up missy," the guard motioned as Ryoko slowly raised her hands.

"Oh damn…" Ryoko cursed.

***

Ryoko sighed. For the past half-hour or so she and the others had been interrogated like they were common criminals.   Obviously they had landed on a military post of sorts, or something along those lines.  Those in charge seemed human, except for the stoic looking chap with the pointed ears.  Earlier Ryoko could have sworn she had heard Urd mutter something about a 'pointy-eared devil' when he had escorted an older man and the one he called 'Captain' into the briefing room.

"So you're not Klingon agents?" asked the tall fellow in a goldenrod colored tunic for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

"No," Ryoko answered one more time for every one.   "We were only looking for the bar."

"In the cargo hold?" the fellow in the gold tunic inquired.  "That's unlikely unless you plan to distill your own drinks ladies."

"That was an accident," Ryoko explained, again.  "That's just where we beamed in."

"So you have no interest in Sherman's Planet or the quadrotritacale?" a graying, fidgety fellow asked with a hint of skepticism masked in urgency in his voice.  Ryoko noticed that every time some one mentioned the Quadrotritacale the 'Captain' would get a despondent look on his face and rub his temples.  

"Captain," the pointy-eared one spoke, "There was an Andorian freighter in the vicinity that beamed a few guest on to the station.  Perhaps these ladies became separated from one of the parties that transported over."

"Perhaps," the Captain mused.  "I don't see any harm in letting them stay do you Bones?  Spock?"

"A few young ladies never hurts in my opinion Jim," the one called Bones answered with a soft country drawl and a warm smile.    

"They pose no threat in my opinion," Spock said, cocking one eyebrow.  He seemed to be fixated on the white haired one who was addressed as Urd.  _Fascinating,_ he thought.    

"So it's agreed," Captain Jim said, holding up a hand to ward off the fidgety fellows objections.  "Ladies," Captain Jim continued, "please forgive us here, and enjoy all the hospitality the Federation and Station K-7 has to offer.  Now if you would excuse me, I have a headache."  Ryoko stifled a laugh as Captain Jim cut his eyes across the room to the gray fellow who was obviously biting his tongue.

"Let's hit the bar," Ryoko said with a stretch, rising from her chair.

"Maybe I'll join you later," Captain Jim said with a dangerous look in eye.

"I don't think my husband or wife would appreciate that," Ryoko said showing off the double band on her left ring finger and a hint of fang.  "Come on," she motioned to the others.  Urd stifled a laugh at the looks captain Jim was getting from Bones and Spock, but there was something about the Spock that she found not quite right…

***

"Talk about a bunch of stuffed shirts," mumbled a now slightly sobered Naga.  "Boy, do I need a drink."

"I'll agree to that," Ryoko said studying the diagram labeled 'Station K-7' on the corridor wall.  The saloon seemed to be located on the port-most of the stations disc shaped sections.  "Here we go," she added, tracing the quickest route to the saloon with her finger.

"You guys go on ahead," Urd, said loosing the small purse of coins from her belt.  

"What's up?" Ryoko inquired as she took the purse from the goddess.

"Just something I need to check out," Urd replied looking back towards the corridor from whence they had come.

"Suit your self," Naga said taking Nagi by the hand.  "Where's that bar?"

"This way," Ryoko laughed leading the pair down the hall. Urd waved as her compatriots disappeared around the corridor bend.  After waiting a few minutes she began to backtrack her way to the station directors office, when she ran into something.  Something blue.

"Pardons, Miss Urd," Spock spoke stoically as Urd regained her balance.

"I should have been more careful," she said, casting a fleeting glance towards his eyes before studying the floor near her own shoes.   

"The saloon is in the opposite direction," Spock said dragging Urd back to reality.

"I know," the white haired goddess replied sheepishly.  "Tell me Mister Spock," Urd said regaining an air of her normal bravado, "what do you know of Norse mythology?"  Spock cocked an eyebrow and allowed a faint half-smirk to cross his face.

***

"I expected more," Naga quipped as the saloon's ruddy colored doors slid open with a hydraulic hiss.  K-7's saloon was certainly drabber than the cantina or previous cheerful places the group had frequented.  Brown traction carpet lined the floor and its many tables while a well stocked bar stood apposite the arching windows.  A space ship with a large saucer section and two protruding warp drive nacelles could be seen passing in orbit.

"As long as the beer's good," Nagi said.  She had certainly seen worse establishments across the star systems, as had Ryoko.  This one in particular reeked of ale and the trio of dark colored aliens sitting around one of the tables.  Everyone else looked human, or close to it.  

"What can I do for you lovely young ladies?" jovially asked the barkeep as Ryoko, Naga, and Nagi took a table close to the bar.

"My cloaked friend here would like a tankard of your finest beer while Naga and myself will have your best sake," Ryoko ordered, garnering nods from all.

"The finest beer I have is imported from Andor," The barkeep replied while drawing a frosted mug full of the amber draught, "but I'm slap out of sake.  A fellow from the Federation ship bought my last bottles.  Something about him and a yeoman and the arboretum," he elaborated.

"Then what do you recommend?" Ryoko asked as Naga sighed.

"So long as its good," the raven-haired sorceress mumbled.

"That it is," the barkeep replied as he produced an angular bottle of pale blue liquid from beneath the bar.  "This is hard to come by," he said cutting his eyes from side to side, "and slightly illegal in this neck of the quadrant."

Ryoko allowed a smirk to cross her lips as the barkeep showed off the bottle.  "You've got my attention," she said, eyeing the bottle. A hint of alleged illicitness always picked her curiosity.

"Romulan Ale," the barkeep said.  "Cyrano Jones over there runs me a bottle on occasion.  Quite rare and pricey."

"A smuggler?"  Ryoko inquired as she tried to decipher the angular script on the bottles label.

"A dealer in hard to come by goods is what he prefers to be called."  Ryoko smirked as the barkeep produced two small tumblers.  "But it's pricey," he added.

"This should work," Ryoko said pulling a few of the gold coins from the purse Urd had given her. 

The barkeep eyed the coin carefully before he took one. After tapping it on the counter he gave it a quick bite.  Satisfied of its purity, he handed the bottle and tumblers to Ryoko.  "Enjoy, and thank you for the business," he said with a crooked smile.

"Whatcha got?" Naga asked as Ryoko poured a glass of the Ale.

"Here goes," Ryoko toasted.  With a quick gulp she downed the Romulan Ale in one swallow while Nagi and Naga watched for a reaction.  

"Well?" Naga asked as Ryoko began to tremble slightly.  "Ryoko?"

"Oh yeah!" Ryoko exclaimed as relished the taste of the Ale.  "This is what I'm talkin' 'bout!"  

Seeing no harm, Naga quickly followed suit.  "Whoa," she breathed with a sigh, exhaling the liquors heat.  "Not bad."  A more eloquent compliment was the second, then third tumbler she downed in rapid succession.

As Naga enjoyed the Romulan Ale and Nagi called for her second tankard, Ryoko carefully watched the other inhabitants of the saloon.  From her millennia as an intergalactic pirate she could spot a tense situation a mile away, and this was one of them.  A group of humanoid looking fellows wearing red and gold tunics were suspiciously watching the trio of gaudily clad, dark-skinned aliens.  Obviously there was some deep-rooted tension between the two peoples.

"Say my fair ladies," a nasally voice chimed, bringing Ryoko out of her thought.  "Can I interest any of you beauties in an object of exquisite opulence?"

"Cut the crap Cyrano!" the barkeep laughed from the bar, eliciting giggles from the three young ladies.

"Whatcha peddling?" Ryoko asked, keeping an eye on the other occupants of the bar.

"Just one of the rarities of the galaxy," he smiled, producing a small fuzzy object from his tunic.  "A real treasure…"

***

James T. Kirk was not having a good day.  First off he had to be the only one in the quadrant who did not know what Quadro…quadro…what ever that stuff was called.  Second, Klingons were on the station.  Third he had a headache.  Fourth, where the hell was Spock?

Entering the _Enterprise's_ sickbay, Kirk spotted McCoy near a large glass container full of fuzzy, little critters.  Blinking twice, this new oddity momentarily took the place of his headache.  "Hey," he began nonchalantly, "how many of these did Uhura give you?" Kirk inquired as he picked up one of the fuzzy animals.

"Just one," McCoy responds, a tad perplexed.

"You have," Kirk paused to count, "uh, eleven."

"Ya noticed?" Bones remarked flatly.  "I have no clue how they do it," he added shaking his head.  "Near as I can tell they're born pregnant."  Kirk nodded as Bones continued.  "And ya know whatcha get when you feed a tribble?" he baited.

"A fat tribble?" countered Kirk flatly.

"No," replied McCoy, "you get a whole bunch of hungry tribbles."

"Funny Bones," Kirk quipped back, rubbing his temples.  His roaring headache had made an outstanding come back.  "Tell me," he said as one of the tribbles scurried away from him.  "Have you seen Spock?"

"Not since we let those young ladies stay on the station," Bones laughed as one of the tribbles crawled up his arm.  "Why?  Think he has designs on one?" 

"Spock?" Kirk laughed. "Lord no.  I just had something to ask him," he finished heading for the door.

"What about all these?" Bones asked, sweeping a hand over the brood of tribbles.

"Well bones, all I can suggest is that you open a maternity ward," Kirk quipped as he vanished behind the closing sickbay doors.

***

 "Whatcha peddling?" Ryoko asked, keeping an eye on the other occupants of the bar.  To her trained eye tensions were beginning to rise

"Just one of the rarities of the galaxy," he smiled, producing a small fuzzy object from his tunic.  "A real treasure," the peddler smiled.  "A tribble."

"A what?" asked Naga as Cyrano pulled a small ball of fuzz from his tunic.

"A tribble my dear," Cyrano beamed as Naga received the ball of fur into her cupped hands.  It trilled pleasantly as the sorceress nuzzled the fuzz ball to her cheek.  "They like everyone but Klingons."

"What's a Klingon?" Nagi asked.

"Those fellows," the barkeep pointed towards the dark skinned aliens bantering with the human looking fellows.

"Can I interest you ladies in one or two?" Cyrano asked as Ryoko continued to watch the other inhabitants of the saloon.  One of the red shirted humans was exchanging comments with one of the goateed Klingons.  She quickly handed the annoying peddler a few coins for his tribbles and watched the situation.  Few noticed her ears twitch as she listened to the brewing conversation.

"Oh, I just remembered," she heard one of the dark skinned aliens taunt as he swaggered over to the humans' table.  "There is one Earthman who doesn't remind me of a Regulan Blood Worm.  That's Kirk.  A Regulan Blood Worm is soft and shapeless," he laughed.  "But Kirk isn't soft."  

_This could be bad,_ Ryoko thought as she judged the reactions of the so-called 'Earthers'.

"Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood…" _Now who does that remind me of, _Ryoko thought as the Klingon continued his rant.  "…but he's not soft."  Ryoko tensed, as did Nagi, as one of the earthers jumped to his feet, but fortunately one of his comrades stopped him.

"Everyone's entitled to their opinion," the dark haired man said with a thick accent.  "So take it easy mister."

"That's right," continued the Klingon.   "And if I think that Kirk is a Denebrian Slime-Devil," he laughed, "well that's my opinion too."

Once again the fellow in the golden shirt jumped to his feet, but the dark haired fellow stopped him again.  "Don't do it mister," he drawled, "and that's an order!"

The other Klingons laughed as the young man defended his Captain.  "But you heard what they called the Keptin!"

"It's not worth fightin' for," his friend calmed.  "We're big enough to take a few insults."

Ryoko noticed a gleam in the Klingon's eye.  _Uh-oh…here it comes…_ "Of course I'd say that Kirk deserves his ship," he laughed.  "We like the _Enterprise;_ we really do!  That sagging, old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow.  Half the quadrant knows it.  That's why they're learning Klingonase!"

"_Mister Scott!" _pleaded the fellow in the yellow tunic.

The one called Scott twirled his drink in its glass and spoke calmly towards the Klingon.  "Laddie," he said taking a sip, "don'tcha think ya should…rephrase that?"

"You're right I should," the Klingon offered imitating Scott's accent.  "I didn't mean to say that the _Enterprise_ should be hauling garbage…" he laughed.

Ryoko tapped Nagi on the shoulder, who promptly sat her tankard down.  She too had been following the exchange, and suspected what Ryoko did.  They both cut their eyes to Naga. Who was more than preoccupied by her and Ryoko's pet tribbles.

"What I meant to say," the Klingon continued, "is that it should be hauled away _as garbage!"_    He and his comrades laughed heartily as Scott finished his drink and slowly rose to his feet.  Then with a crack the chief engineers fist connected to the Klingon's bearded jaw.

"He we go!" Ryoko whooped as the Klingon crashed into her table, spilling the remnants of Nagi's beer and her glass of Romulan Ale.  Fortunately Naga had saved the bottle.

"Look out lassie," Scott hollered as a staggering Klingon stumbled towards Ryoko.

"Thanks!" she called out as her fist sent the alien flying across the bar into another table, reducing it to space trash.  Unfortunately no such warning call for the Klingon that behind her.  With a crash he shattered a bar stool across the former pirate's heads.

"Not smart!" Ryoko growled as she loosed an energy burst into the Klingon's midsection, which sent his reeling back towards Chekov who promptly floored him with a right cross.

"I hope ya' set that hand of yours to 'stun' lassie," Scott joked as he backed up to Ryoko.  Three more Klingons had decided to come to their comrades' aid.

"Always," Ryoko grinned.  She couldn't tell if it was the adrenalin rush of being in one more barroom brawl or the Romulan Ale taking hold, but she was definitely enjoying herself.  Which was more than the poor Klingons could say as she tossed one towards the still drinking Naga.  "Heads up!" she warned.

Naga lifted the half consumed bottle of Ale from the bar top as the Klingon slid down the bar heads first.  "Hi there," Naga said with a hint of inebriation as the Klingon came to rest right in front of her.  All the poor devil could mange was a faint groan before he passed out, either from Ryoko's punch or the alcohol on Naga's breath.  "I wonderif Urd's havin thish mush fun," Naga mused as she downed another tumbler of the blue ale…

***

Kirk wondered if the day could get any worse.  To compound his list of troubles from before, he had just received word from the Station that a rip-roaring donnybrook had erupted in the saloon.  Plus, Spock was still AWOL, and his headache had yet to desist.  As he waited beside the turbo-lift he noticed a tribble scooting across the floor.  When the doors slid open, another of the furry creatures exited the car.

Shaking his head, Kirk turned the lift controls to the habitat deck.  He could tell that before this assignment was over, he would need a vacation.  A nice long vacation on a friendly planet where the skies were blue and the native women even friendlier.

But first he had to find Spock and get to the station.   

Exiting the car, he headed for Spock's quarters.  _He'd better have a damned good excuse, _Kirk thought as his hand hovered above the door chime, but he stopped millimeters from the button. "What in the hell?" he cursed as a faint giggle came from behind the door followed by the sounds of things being shuffled and some unintelligible words in what sounded like Vulcan. 

"Can't be," Kirk mused as the door slid open with a hiss.

"Captain!" Urd squeaked, nearly bowling into Kirk.  Kirk looked the goddess over and noted her rather disheveled state of affairs.

"Yes, Jim?" Spock inquired stepping into view behind Urd.  True to form, he was as neatly placed and stoic as ever.

Kirk shook his head.  "We have a situation down on the station," Kirk stated flatly, trying to force certain mental images from his mind.

"The Klingons?" Spock inquired.

"Partly," Kirk continued as Urd shoved a few strands of platinum hair behind her ear.  "It seems that miss Urd's friends and mister Scott have started a brawl with the Klingons.

"Ryoko…" Urd mumbled as she straightened her blouse.  "I'll see to them," she said before shimmering from view. 

Kirk just shook his head as Spock fell into step behind him.  "I don't even want to know," Kirk said preemptively.

"We were just discussing Norse Mythology from ancient Earth," Spock began, keeping pace with Kirk.

"Norse Mythology?" Kirk asked somewhat quizzically.

"Yes," Spock replied.  "A most fascinating subject."

"I'm sure it is…"

"Tell me Jim," Spock began as the waited by the turbo-lift doors, "Have you ever met a goddess before?"

***

Urd cringed at the mess she saw in K-7's saloon.  Six dark skinned aliens that had to be Kirk's 'Klingons' were laid out all over the saloon.  Little piles stood here and there were all that remained of the establishments' furniture.  Finally she spied Ryoko, Nagi, Naga, and a dark haired fellow in a red tunic leaning up against the bar sharing a bottle of blue liquor.

"Ye pack quite a wallop lassie," Scottie laughed as he sipped his ale.  A large blue bruise under his left eye was beginning to shine, and Ryoko was sporting a similar badge under left eye.

"Haven't had that much fun in quite a while," Ryoko laughed.  "Not since a pie fight on Jurai."

"I neva been to 'Jurai,'" Scotty said as he downed his ale.

"Not missin' much," Ryoko elaborated, polishing of her own drink.  "Just a bunch of stuffed royal shirts.  That and my wife is from there, and my husband is one-eighth Juraian."

"I see," Scott laughed.

"I see I missed all the fun," Urd laughed, stepping over an unconscious Klingon as she made her way to the bar.  Naga had another bottle of the blue ale open and a red-faced fellow behind the bar was drawing Nagi another tankard.

"And whersh were you?" Naga asked as Urd sniffed the tumbler of blue drink the sorceress had given her.

"Just having a discussion with Mr. Spock," Urd said with a blush as she tested the high-octane drink.  "Say, not bad."

"I think you lassies better be running along now," Scott said handing Ryoko a bottle of Romulan Ale from behind the counter.  "On me Miss Ryoko."

"Thanks Scottie," Ryoko said as the others gathered around her.  "Sorry for the trouble."

"Ye were no trouble at all!" Scotty laughed, raising his glass to the young ladies once more.

"Four to beam up," Ryoko laughed, wondering why she had the sneaking suspicion that the saying was oddly appropriate.  Scotty just chuckled as the four disappeared in a shimmering column of light, just as Kirk and Spock arrived with the station's security brigade.

***

To be continued…

***

Notes:  I'd like to thank Bob for allowing me to guest write this chapter.  So, all blame for its tardiness falls on my shoulders.  I hope that this was no tribble for any of you.

William Nichols __

*****

Editor's Notes

Well, this was a truly wonderful piece and it just goes to prove once again what a magnificent author Mr. Nichols is.  The only major editing I did was the removal of his epilog, which I will re-include in the final chapter of this story.

*****

BobR

8/9/2002


	6. The Morning After

Disclaimer

Tenchi and all associated characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC.  I don't own any rights to them.  Any other characters are property of their respective copyright holders, not me.

*****

Ladies Night Out

Chapter 5

The Morning After

*****

Ryoko blearily opened her eyes but they wouldn't focus on anything but a silver-white blur.  She blinked several times but the blur remained.  _What the hell happened last night?  And what's that goddess-awful taste in my mouth? _  She licked her dry lips and tried to focus again.  No luck.  She closed her eyes and moved her arm, slowly, as it seemed to be trapped under something fairly heavy.  Her hand encountered something soft and she gently squeezed whatever it was, trying to figure it out.  A soft moan came from nearby and whatever she was holding escaped from her grasp.  She suddenly realized what it had been.  "Ayeka?" she croaked in a weak voice.  Even as she said it she knew it wasn't the princess, they had been a bit too… big.

The ex-pirate heard a low chuckle from nearby and she opened her eyes again.  She used her now free hand to brush aside the few remaining strands of long, platinum hair that clung to her face.  Her vision finally focused on her mother seated across the room and next to her was Queen Funaho, smiling behind a cup of tea.  Ryoko swallowed several times to lubricate her chapped throat before attempting to speak again.  "Washu.  Mom.  What happened?  Was there a fight?  Did we win?"

Washu chuckled again and Funaho put down her teacup before she dropped it.  "Kinda," said the scientist.  "You guys came blasting in here in the wee hours, waking up the whole house."

"We?" Ryoko asked, then she remembered.  She sat up suddenly, causing Urd's unconscious form to roll off the couch and onto the floor.  The goddess snorted, then rolled over and started gently snoring.  The cyan haired girl sat back, tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling.  "Oh yeah.  I sorta remember now.  How did we get home?  The last thing I clearly remember was some pub in America."

Washu took a sip of her tea.  "The owner of the karaoke bar that got trashed brought you home.  He remembered you from when you, Ayeka and Tenchi were in a few months ago."

Ryoko brought her head back down.  "We trashed a local bar?"

Washu chuckled.  "No, _you_ were perfect ladies.  Perfectly drunk ladies to be sure, but it wasn't you that did it this time.  It seems there was a riot among the male patrons when you guys finished your last song.  It was closing time but they didn't want you to stop; the owner disagreed."

Ryoko shook her head and frowned, "He'll never let us back in."

"He wasn't angry with you," Funaho spoke up.  "As Washu said, you were very well behaved.  Besides, Washu's agreed to help him rebuild."

"I'll have to apologize at breakfast to everyone.  Did we wake the baby too?" Ryoko asked.

"No," said Washu.  "I put a sound damper field around the nursery several weeks ago.  But everyone else saw you four in all your drunken splendor."

"Four?" Ryoko looked around the room.  She didn't see the other two.  "Where's Nagi and Naga?"

"Upstairs in the loft," said Funaho as she refilled hers and Washu's cups.  The scientist nodded her thanks to the queen.  "Sasami and Misaki slept in Sasami's room and Washu and I stayed down here to keep an eye on you two.  You passed out on the couch and Ayeka said to leave you but we didn't want you wandering off so we stayed too."

"Nagi was the least drunk of all you guys and she carried Naga upstairs," piped in Washu.  "She sat up with us for a while afterwards and told us all about your evening."

Ryoko put her face in her hands.  "Oh goddess."  Urd groaned something from the floor and rolled over.  Ryoko gave her a gentle poke with her foot.  "I didn't mean you."

"Wha?" mumbled the goddess.

"Go back to sleep," said Ryoko.

"'Kay.  Nighty night."

"Just what did she tell you?" Ryoko asked her mother.

"She told us where the device took you."  Washu's face assumed a hurt look.  "I'm sorry Ryoko, it wasn't supposed to take you off the planet.  I'll have to talk to Skuld about 'improving' things next time I see her."

Ryoko dismissed her mother's contrition with a wave of her hand.  "Ah, that's all right.  No one was hurt and we did have a good time although I didn't plan on the two N's to join us.  It just sorta happened."  She stood up and wobbled a bit but managed to keep her feet.  "Speaking of the two N's, as their hostess I'd better go check on them; you know, make sure they aren't in any trouble…"  She gave her mother and the queen a sly wink and then teleported away.

Washu got up and walked over to Urd.  She placed her foot on the goddess' hip and rocked her back and forth.  "Hey!  Wakey, wakey.  If you're going to sleep get a room."

Urd opened her eyes and focused on Washu.  "Ahh.  Oh, morning Washu.  Are we home?"

Washu grinned as Funaho chuckled behind her.  "No.  You're having a bad dream.  Now get your butt up off my floor and go upstairs and find a bed to sleep it off."

Urd managed to get her legs under her and staggered off towards the stairs.  She paused and turned back to Washu.  "Are you _sure_ this is just a dream?"

"Yes.  Go to bed and we'll see you at lunch."  As the goddess disappeared up the stairs Washu and Funaho broke into raucous laughter.  The diminutive scientist picked up the device from where Nagi had left it earlier.  Looking at it closely she shook her head.  "I don't know…  According to Nagi the places they went sounded like all literary or television establishments.  I think they got some bad sake."

"How do you explain the presence of Nagi and Naga then?" asked the queen.

"I dunno but I'm working on it."  With that Washu pushed the button on the device.  She reappeared a moment later in her adult form, a gunbelt (complete with Colt Peacemaker) around her trim waist and cowboy hat perched jauntily on her head.  "I'm gonna kill that little goddess when I catch her!" she exclaimed.  She reverted to her child form and the belt slid to the floor with a dull thud.  The hat fell down over her eyes as she said "But now I know what Miss Kitty sees in Marshal Dillon."

"What?  You were only gone a few seconds, where did you go?" asked the queen, a puzzled expression on her face.

Washu bent down and picked up the belt, unclipping the bar hopping device from it.  "Time flows differently in other Realities.  To me, I've been gone two days.  As to where, well I… I'd prefer not to say right now."  She carefully set the device down on the table and stepped back, eyeing it suspiciously.

*****

Ryoko rematerialized in the Masaki family loft.  She expected to find Naga and Nagi cuddled together among the carrot-shaped pillows but instead Naga was sprawled out, drooling from the corner of her mouth while Nagi sat and looked out the window, Ken-ohki perched on her right shoulder.

"Good morning Ryoko," said the bounty hunter without turning.

"Morning Nagi," replied the pirate.  _Damn, she's good. _  Ryoko walked over and sat down next to her on one of the fluffy carrots.  "What's up?  I thought you'd be asleep."

"Nah.  In my line of work you learn that you don't need as much sleep as you might think."

"So what ya thinking about?"

Nagi continued to stare out the window.  "What makes you think I'm thinking about anything?"

Ryoko smiled gently.  "Because this is where Sasami comes when she wants to think about stuff.  She sits and stares out the windows just like you are.  So, what's on your mind?"

"Washu'll probably send us home right after lunch."

This surprised Ryoko.  "Yeah?  So?  Don't you want to get back to where you belong?"

"You don't get it, do you?  Washu'll send me home and she'll send Naga home."

A light came on in Ryoko's head.  "Ah.  I see.  But you just met her last night and you didn't show a lot of interest either."

"Ryoko…"

"Sorry, I was just teasing.  But you _did_ just meet her last night."

Nagi sighed.  "I know.  But I'd like to get to know her better.  I don't think I'll get the chance though."

Ryoko snaked an arm around the hunter's shoulders.  "Tell ya what, we'll talk to Washu and see what she can do.  In the meantime we could both use a good soak before breakfast.  Let me show you my creation, the floating onsen…"

Naga's eyes snapped open and she sat up suddenly.  "Onsen?  As in 'hot spring'?  I'm game, let's go!"  The tall sorceress grabbed Ryoko and ran out of the room.  Nagi stood up with a sigh, scratched Ken-ohki between the ears eliciting a purr from the cabbit, then followed the other two girls out of the room.

*****

Naga shouted gleefully as she dove into the warm water while Ryoko and Nagi sat near the edge of the pool and sipped cups of warm tea.  Ryoko put her cup down on a floating platter.  "Not what I normally drink when I'm in here, but sake doesn't sound too good right now."

Nagi nodded her agreement and set her own cup down.  "This is great.  I wish my Ryoko showed a talent like this.  All she's good for is goofing off and getting in trouble."

The pirate laughed.  "She also avoided you all those years.  I understand she's settled down a bit now and wants to start a family."

"Has started a family you mean.  She's due in about seven months," responded the hunter.  "She doesn't leave Earth much anymore, aside from a very occasional visit to Jurai."  She gave Ryoko a secretive smile whose meaning was totally lost on the pirate.

The cyan haired beauty got a wistful look on her face at Nagi's news then changed the subject slightly.  "Speaking of the other Ryoko, I should have thought about this before.  I hope it doesn't bother you to see me like this."  Ryoko indicated her state of total undress.  "I know you had feelings for her and all…"

Nagi shook her head.  "Nah, not at all.  At one time I would have enjoyed seeing a naked Ryoko but that time is well past.  Besides, I'm very aware that you're not her.  I do have to say though that you're pretty well preserved for a 5000 year old woman."

Naga's head popped out of the water in front of the two.  "You're 5000?  Wow."  She ducked back under the water before Ryoko or Nagi could splash her.

There was a silent ripple in the water as Urd floated down and joined them.  "Ahh!" exclaimed the goddess.  "Just the thing, a hot soak before breakfast."

"Breakfast?  It's closer to lunch!" came a nasal voice from behind them.  They turned to find Washu and Ayeka standing at the edge of the pool wrapped in towels.

"It's getting crowded in here," mumbled Ryoko as she ducked beneath the water and swam away.  Washu glared at the spot where her daughter had been sitting but Ayeka just shrugged her shoulders and slid into the water.

"Ah Washu," said Nagi.  "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Let me guess," said the scientist.  "You want to spend more time with Princess Gracia."

Naga's head popped back up.  "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't call me that.  I'm just Naga now.  Naga the Serpent."  She disappeared again.

Nagi's eyes followed the sorceress' movement under water.  "Er, yes.  That's exactly it."

Naga popped up next to Nagi and glomped onto her.  "You really want to spend time with me?  That's great; we can have some wonderful adventures together."  She held her arm out and moved it in a sweeping arc.  "I can see it now: Naga and Nagi, the two most feared bounty hunters in the universe.  With my magic and your technology we'll be unbeatable."

"Uh yeah," responded Nagi.  "That too."  She whispered in Naga's ear, "That's not the kind of adventure I meant; besides, who says you get top billing?"

"I know," Naga replied in a stage whisper.  "And I don't care who's on top."  She gave the hunter a quick peck on the cheek causing her to blush, then swam back to the center of the pool and disappeared again.

Washu chuckled at Naga's antics.  "Well," she said.  "No promises but I'll see what I can do."

Ayeka eased herself into the water between Washu and Nagi.  "You must do something Washu," she said.  "I'm happy that Nagi's finally found someone to spend some time with.  I remember how she moped around when we were all on Jurai together."

"I said I'd see what I could do," said the scientist in a gruff tone.  "And I will.  I already have an idea but I want to run some sims on it first."

Nagi bowed her head slightly.  "Thank you Washu, I know you'll do your best."

Ayeka sighed with pleasure and leaned her head back against the wall, her chin just touching the warm water.  "I hope last night's little episode works out," the princess said cryptically as she closed her eyes and relaxed.  Both Nagi and Washu smiled.

They'd been bathing for about twenty minutes when Sasami showed up and announced that lunch was ready.  After drying each other off and getting dressed they all trouped back to the house to eat.  Sasami, out of consideration of the revelry of the night before, had fixed a light lunch and there was much joking and teasing among the girls as they ate.  When they were done and everyone had pitched in and helped with the cleanup, Ryoko, Urd, Nagi and Naga joined Washu in her lab.  The scientist offered Naga and Nagi small objects.

"Here, these are similar to the device you used last night," she told them.  Nagi recoiled from hers but Naga took the other and examined it closely.  Washu offered the device to Nagi again.  "Don't worry," she told the bounty hunter.  "Skuld hasn't been near these.  Since I doubt either of you actually want to live permanently in the other's Reality, the top button will take you to each other's location and the bottom button will take you home.  They've been tuned to your exact parameters so they can tell the difference between you and all the other potential you's in the multiverse."

"Hey, thanks."  Naga indicated a third, recessed button.  "What'll this do?"  She poked at it with her finger.

"Please don't touch that," said Washu, slapping her hand away.

Nagi laughed.  "Knowing you Washu, it's probably the self destruct."

Washu smiled evilly back at her and Nagi shivered.  "Not exactly, but close," the scientist said.  "That'll summon me or one of my sisters.  Use it only as a last resort."

Nagi grinned and nodded.  "I suppose you're going to send us home now?" she asked.

"Nope.  You can leave whenever you want to."  Washu indicated the devices.  "Those work just as well from here."

"Ok then," said Naga.  "One last question.  If I want to go home with Nagi now, do I have to go to my world first then to hers?"

"Not at all, just stand next to her when she pushes her button.  It'll take both of you."

Naga's eyes sparkled and she moved over next to Nagi.  "Ready when you are," she said, taking the hunter's hand.

"What?  You mean…?" Nagi was astonished.

"Sure.  You've been to my world; I wanna go see yours for a while."

"No you don't," Nagi told her.  "My universe is boring without Ryoko to chase, yours looked much more interesting.  At least the part I could see in the dark."

Naga considered for a moment.  "All right," she said, snagging Nagi's arm.  "But you have to promise me that we'll get to visit your home sometime."

They both waved goodbye then Naga pushed the button on her device.  The two girls flickered out of existence.  Washu sighed and turned away.  "I hope they both find what they're looking for," she said in a low tone.

"What?  My mother, one of the three great goddesses, can't foresee what's going to happen?" Ryoko teased.

Washu glared at her.  "Don't push it 'daughter'.  You know I don't like to call on the goddess in me, but if you want to test it…"  Washu's forehead began to glow.

Ryoko ducked behind a piece of equipment.  "Hey, just kidding Washu, just kidding." 

Washu's glow faded as Urd stepped forward.  "I guess I should be going too, Bell and Skuld are probably worried about me."

"Oh, I doubt that," replied Washu with a smile.  She beckoned to Ryoko.  "C'mon Ryoko, we'll walk her to the TV."

The trio found Ayeka and Juro seated on the couch, the princess making baby noises and the young prince gurgling with delight.  Seeing the baby, Ryoko rushed over and began making funny faces and strange noises herself, trying to get him to laugh at her too.  This brought a smile to Urd's face and she turned to Washu.

"She really loves that baby, Ryoko'll make a fine mother herself someday," the goddess said, watching Washu carefully.  "Any idea when that might be?"

Washu chuckled and led Urd across the room, away from the group on the couch.  "It's still a secret but we should be finding out in a few days.  Or _she_ should anyway."

Urd was stunned.  "You mean Ryoko…?  And Tenchi…?  I mean, I figured it would be soon but…"  She got a sly look on her face.  "Does Tenchi know?"

"Couldn't have done it without him," explained Washu, rubbing her hands together with glee.  "Ayeka knows too but they want it to be a surprise for Ryoko.  I took care of it last night when you two were passed out.  Nagi and the princess helped me carry her into the lab and assisted in the procedure."

Urd snickered in understanding.  "So, this was all a setup.  I get it."

"Yep," agreed the scientist.  "And I appreciate the help.  Do you know how hard it is to get Ryoko drunk enough to actually pass out?  But I had faith in you, although Nagi and Naga were a surprise.  I'm going to have a little talk with your younger sister about that."

Urd stepped over to the TV and started to float into the screen.  "Not before I do.  Tell Ryoko I'll see her later and take good care of her or face the wrath of Urd!"  She waved jauntily and disappeared.

"Yeah, right!" Washu snorted at the TV.  "Like _I_ have anything to be afraid of."  With that she turned and walked over to the couch where little Juro had a deathgrip on one of Auntie Ryoko's hair spikes, causing the pirate to grimace with pain.  _This is going to be so much fun, _ she thought as she helped disentangle the child from her daughter.

*****

Epilog…

"Sorry!" Ryoko pleaded for the thousandth time as Washu stood over her.

"Stop yapping and get these things out of my lab!" Washu ordered as Ryoko gathered up another armful of small fuzz balls and dumped them into a containment field.  "And once you get them all out of here, you still have the shrine and the rest of the house to clean."

"Yes mother," Ryoko whined.  _Sheesh! Who'd thought that just one of these things would breed so many,_ she pondered as she rounded up another armload of tribbles. "Hold on," Ryoko asked before dumped the armload into the containment field, "just where are these guys going any way?"

"Well lets just say," Washu said with a mischievous grin, "I'm sending them someplace where they will be appreciated."

"Where's that?"

"Well I did a little research into that dimension where you found them…"

"Mom!  Where…are…the tribbles…going?" Ryoko demanded.

"I've given them a very good home," Washu said still smiling.

"Where!" Ryoko roared.

"I'm sending the whole kit and caboodle to those Klingon fellows you had the little brawl with."  Ryoko blinked a time or two as Washu's words sank in.  "Where I'm sure they'll be no tribble at all."

***

Epilog the Second

Naga and Nagi materialized in a large clearing deep in the woods.  Nagi looked around cautiously but saw nothing amiss.  She shook Naga's hand loose from her arm and started for a trail she'd spotted.  Naga followed along behind, slightly disappointed that her new friend had made her let go.

"Rule #1 of being a bounty hunter," Nagi explained when she saw the look on Naga's face.  "Always be aware of your surroundings.  We'll have plenty of time for fun and games later, don't worry," she said with a sly smile.  Naga immediately cheered up.

As they neared the woods they could hear the sound of a commotion within; lots of yelling, breaking of tree branches and stuff like that.  There was a flash of color within the trees and suddenly a high-pitched female voice could be heard.

"Gooouuurryy,  you jellyfish brain!  Get back here!"

More sounds of conflict, then the voice again.

"What do you mean running off and leaving me like that?"  A dull thud followed and a figure came flying out of the forest, obviously propelled by a hefty kick.  It landed in a heap a few yards from the duo.  Nagi reached for her weapon but Naga stopped her before she could draw it.

"No," the tall sorceress said with a grin.  "I know these two."

Another figure appeared in the clearing, a short, slender redhead dressed in demi-armor.  She flew through the air and landed by where her male companion lay moaning in obvious pain.  She didn't see Naga and Nagi at first as all her attention was focused on the man.  She kicked him in the ribs generating another moan then knelt at his side and cradled his head against her small breasts.

Naga started to laugh.  "Oh hohohohoho.  So Lina Inverse, we meet again."

The woman cringed and looked up.  "Oh gods no. Not you Naga," she said in a low tone.

"Oh hohoho.  Yes, it is I, Naga the Serpent.  But don't worry Lina, I'm not after you anymore."

Lina stood up and dusted herself off.  "I guess that's good.  What brings you out here and who's the chick with you?"

Naga put her arm around Nagi's shoulder.  "This is Nagi, she's a bounty hunter from another er, province."  Nagi gave a tentative wave and a weak smile, she knew all about Lina Inverse from Naga and Ryoko's explanations the night before.

Ken-ohki hopped over to the group from where he'd been chasing some butterflies.  He jumped up on Nagi's unoccupied shoulder where Lina spotted him.  "Hey!  I know what that is.  That's one of those flying thingies like that Ayeka and Ryoko had, isn't it?"  She reached out to touch the cabbit and he started purring and rubbing her hand.  "She's not from another province you idiot, she's from another world!" she told Naga sternly.

Naga put her hands on her hips and looked the smaller sorceress in the eye. Of course she had to look down to do this and because Lina was standing so close, Naga's eyes crossed. "I know that Lina," Naga said, trying to uncross her eyes before the other woman broke into laughter.  "I just wanted to spare you the trauma of dealing with it." She felt something move in her belt pouch and she jumped a few inches before she remembered what it was.  Reaching in she pulled out three tribbles.  _How odd, _ she thought.  _I only vaguely remember Ryoko giving me one… _

Lina stopped petting the cabbit and leaned over to look at what Naga had in her hand.  The tribbles started their own purring and trilling when they sensed her.  "How cute," Lina said picking one up.  "Can I have one?"  She was thinking about how much she could get for it in the nearest town or how many meals she could trade it for.

"Sure," Naga said expansively.  "I think I'll give one to my sister next time I see her too.  I wonder if the little darlings are hungry?"

*****

The End

*****

Author's Notes

The first epilog was Thundergod's original one from Chapter 5.  The second I wrote to try to fit in what happened to Naga's tribble and maybe what the consequences of having one might be for the uninitiated.  It may also lead to another story sometime, who knows?

There's a _small_ continuity error in this story too: in Chapter 1 Ryoko states that the queens dropped in suddenly that morning, but in "In a Family Way" it's obvious they've been there several months by this time.  See Dragonbard, I _can_ catch my own mistakes sometimes.  Not often, but sometimes.  The error is because the first chapter of this was written long before I had the entire plot of the other story firmly in place.

*****

Review Responses (from Chapter 4)

Dennisud – Actually I didn't like the 'Dark Empire' storyline that much.  I prefer the X-wing and Thrawn stories, followed by the Han Solo books (all three trilogies).  Now a Corran Horn/Ryoko adventure might be fun but Mirax and Tenchi might have things to say about it…  Or maybe Washu and Booster Terrik on the Errant Venture?  Hmmm.

Thundergod - I considered it, believe me.

Smack54 – I wanted to throw a Jedi into the mix but I didn't want to use Luke.  And since the title is 'Ladies' I thought Luke's wife was a good choice.

Lizzy Hakubi – Mara Jade is from the novels.  She's also a playable character in the Dark Forces – Mystery of the Sith computer game.

Taxzombie – I don't know if RLA will write more MYTH stories or not, he did just release a new Phule book last year I believe.  After writing my bit about Deva though I'm sorry I didn't reread any of the books first.

Wharpt –I've never been to New Orleans so that's out.

DiCyfer – I've never seen Trigun although I'm slightly familiar with the storyline.  What Naga and Nagi get into I'll leave to the reader's imagination, I decided that when I started writing these stories that I wouldn't do any lemons and I'm going to stick to it.  It doesn't prevent me from using innuendo a lot though.

Vsdefender – Well, I tried to stay away from Star Wars but reader input made me change my mind.  When I decided to use the cantina I had to come up with a Jedi character that was a part of the story that readers may be familiar with, might have a reason for being there and _wasn't_ one of the original three main characters.  Mara Jade Skywalker was the only one that fit in my opinion (unless Tavira kidnapped Corran Horn's wife again.)

Selene – Someone will probably shoot me, but I don't know who Hiko is.  Sorry.

Alighthawk – No more, they're done.  As you can see, it was all a setup by Washu anyway.

Priest – Don't worry about it, if I hadn't felt that it would work (and I didn't at first, that's why I resisted) I wouldn't have written it.  Calahan's is familiar, I've heard of it but I can't place it.

Dragonbard – Forgot about that, sorry.  Still, Ryoko was pretty sloshed by that point although she didn't show any outward signs of it.  Maybe she just forgot too.

*****

BobR

8/9/2002


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